a tough decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2008
a tough decision
18
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 9:43pm

Everything was going too well in my life, I guess it was about time to be thrown a curve ball.






Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 10:39pm

Emmy,

That is a tough decision. However, I see two positives in your situation - you would get to be a SAHM (something us working moms would kill for!) and you're still a reasonable distance from your families - it would be a lot worse if you were moving across the country to the East Coast, for example. I don't know the exact distance in miles between PHX and LAX but I'm sure it's a pretty short flight, no?

GL with your decision. I would feel the exact same way as I am an only child and am very close to my parents and they just adore Selin. However, DH and I have discussed the possibility of moving overseas someday if DH got the right opportunity to make a lot of money for a few years and then we would move back. You gotta do what you gotta do.

KUP!

(((HUGS)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2011
Wed, 04-13-2011 - 12:47am

Its not easy. My husband tried SO hard to find work in Oregon so I could stay with my family, but in a year he only got one job offer and it came after he'd already booked plane tickets back to LA. He found good job after good job and he now makes $7 more then he made working in Oregon, so financially I just had no choice but to go with him. It's been hard on my entire family. Loss definitely pulls you closer together.

I am not going to lie, it's not the easiest thing to deal with, being away from all your family. But in this economy we have to start making tough choices and do what is best for our family.

The good news is you won't be far at all from them, and can drive up every so often to see them! For me to see my family we have to buy plane tickets and pay luggage fees for not just suit cases but car seats and strollers. You can just pack up the car and drive a few hours and be there!


Powered by CGISpy.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Wed, 04-13-2011 - 8:00am
That is tough. I've lived away from my family for about 10 years now, but it's just now *feeling* very far since Evan was born. Before, when I was single or when it was just me and DH, it really didn't matter. But now, it would be nice to be closer to them!

In your case, you wouldn't be too far - definitely within driving distance and flights would be super short too. The up-sides of a lower cost of living and being able to stay home are great.

When would DH's job be transferred? Does he have some time to maybe look around for other jobs in your area?




Powered by CGISpy.com

<
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2008
Wed, 04-13-2011 - 9:43am
I agree with the other girls, Emmy, it's a tough decision. But with you being able to stay home that is a big plus! Also, if your at home you'd be able to take extended weekends to drive back home and see your mom and other family. You might also be able to sub when you wanted or tutor for extra money - all at your own discretion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 04-13-2011 - 11:00am
Tough decision Emmy.

While being a SAHM is great, I personally would be afraid of the isolation in a new place. I have a hard time making friends IRL, and while babies are a great way to open up a conversation it can be hard to keep the conversation going KWIM.

But that's me.

How does your DH feel about the move? Any chances of him finding a new gig closer to your current home?
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2008
Wed, 04-13-2011 - 3:45pm

Thanks for your input.

DH is putting the word out that he is looking for a job, and several of his contacts have said that they would love to have him, but that there are just no openings right now.






iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Wed, 04-13-2011 - 7:51pm

Emmy, I would be feeling the same way if I were you--not wanting to go even if it made sense!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Wed, 04-13-2011 - 11:37pm
Emmy, I don't really know what to tell you. DH and I are 1200 miles from my family. so its a good two day drive. I agree as someone else said, it is 100 times harder to be away from my family now that we have Simon. We will probably be moving in the next year and a half once DH gets done with school. And while I'm not sure I would want to be back home I sure as heck would like to be closer.

The job market is tough out there. Sometimes you have to do what is best for right now. And you never know what might happen down the road to pull you guys back.

Good luck!

 Cassie 

     

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Thu, 04-14-2011 - 4:21am

That is a tough decision indeed. It sounds to me like you've already decided that you will move - and it does make financial sense - but you're struggling to come to terms with it.

Like Alyssa, I moved away from my family when I was in my mid twenties and didn't mind at all then - it actually improved my relationship with my parents/siblings. Ever since I had Teddy though I wished they were closer, as (IMO) no one else can give you that support and help that you need with a small baby like your own family.

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Thu, 04-14-2011 - 6:25am
Emmy - Re: meeting other moms...I found my neighborhood playgroup through meetup.com. Phoenix is a pretty big city so I'm sure they have a group or even a couple of groups on there. You could also check out your local LLL group - llli.org. I have made some really good friends and gotten job leads through my group.

Pages