From Two to Three?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2008
From Two to Three?
4
Fri, 02-17-2012 - 1:50pm

Hi, I’m Rebecca, mommy to Ollie who is almost three and Isaac who is nine months. I was on the waiting-to-try board and briefly on this one during my last pregnancy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Fri, 02-17-2012 - 3:58pm
Going from 2 to 3 was a lot easier for me then from 1 to 2, and honestly going from 1 to 2 was really easy as well. The toughest piece for me, was I had an unplanned c-section and bad scaring so it took me a lot longer to recover then expected, so for the first month or so I really relied on family to help out a lot.

One of the nice features I found was that my 4 year old was old enough that he was actually helpful in getting things for the baby, and the 2 and 4 year old kept each other entertained a lot better then DS did when he was 2 and I had a newborn. They would go off and play and I would have time with the baby. DS is also old enough he could get snacks for him and DD if I was nursing, so I didn't have to deal with a lot of the issues I had with having a 2 year old and a newborn last time.

Honestly it worked out great for me and all 3 of mine are great together, though the older two do sometimes go off and play where the 10 month old can't wreck their game.

I also feel done now, which is such a relief, I really didn't feel done after DD and once DS was born I felt done, and have yet to feel any baby longing, which I felt long before 10 months with both my previous 2.

That being said 3 is more expensive then 2, even with a baby. We have already figured out that we will need 2 hotel rooms when we go places most of the time, that it takes longer to get seated at restaurants because you need a 6 top rather then a 4 top (though we can still do a 4 top since DS is in a high chair), that we need a bigger car (I've dealt with a sedan for the past year and I hate it, I am so looking forward to the minivan we are planning on buying in a few weeks). Also putting 3 through college gives me hives, but fortunately I still have 14 years to worry about that one.

I love having a third and he totally and completely completes our family, and it was a really easy transition for me to go from 2 to 3. That being said, we didn't have a huge middle child problem, since my middle child is my only girl, which makes life a bit easier, since she is the only girl, so she has her own "special thing" about her different then the other two kids.



Thank you for the sig Mary

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Fri, 02-17-2012 - 5:29pm
Thanks so much for sharing Sarah!!! I really like hearing what you have to say about this.

To the original poster I would just say that maybe you could start TTC and if that made you feel sick or ill at the thought of actually getting pregnant then that could be your answer but if it was exciting and positive then why not? I have heard from many women that they did feel "done" at some point whether that was after 1/2/3/4etc and if you still have so many feelings of longing and your husband is open to it and it is financially feasible then I would feel like I owe it to myself to try.

Good luck making your decision!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2001
Sat, 02-18-2012 - 9:47am

The transition from one to two was very smooth for us. I had lots of help from DH, and our first son adored his baby brother. The transition from two to three was a little trickier because we moved about 1000 miles away when our baby daughter was only 4 weeks old. Our middle child did struggle with the transition, but I don't think it was all about the baby. He was also getting used to being away from his grandparents to whom he was very, very close. He was adjusting to preschool for the first time, and we also potty trained within a month of moving. Needless to say, he was overwhelmed, and he acted out quite a bit. Things have settled down a lot, and all three children are thriving!

Aside from the move, becoming a family of five felt very natural. I absolutely knew I wanted a third. Like you said, a boy wouldn't have been a disappointment in the least (ADORE my boys!!!!), but a girl was a fun surprise. I have really enjoyed watching my middle child mature into the big brother role. He is so proud to help me and do things for his baby. Even more so, I love seeing my first-born with his baby sister. Watching a six year old being a big brother is much different than a three year old. It's pure joy to see them interact. Charlotte just lights up when her brothers come in the room or get in the car after school.

If we had stopped at two, I think I would have eventually settled into the family of four, but I knew my heart was wide open for a bigger family.

Good luck with your decision. And welcome back to the board!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2008
Mon, 02-20-2012 - 11:16am

Thanks so much for your replies! It was reassuring to hear that middle children end up adjusting well