Were you judgemental pre-kids?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Were you judgemental pre-kids?
16
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 10:10am

I came across this very honest piece in the Huffington Post and couldn't help but shake my head in agreement while reading it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 4:46pm
Oh yeah!! I was judgemental about a lot of things, but the one that jumps in my head was how uncomfortable I was with moms nursing in public places... only to do exactly that same thing once I had my own baby!! But on the other hand, I'm really judgemental now about other things, specially when I see parents with a totally different parenting style (too hard or too soft)... I just keep remembering myself that everyone is entitled to their choices. But it is hard!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 10:59pm
One thing I definitely don't do anymore is ask people if they're going to have kids/have more kids. With so many people going through infertility these days, you just never know what the hold up may be, even if the couple has voiced that they do want kids/want more kids.

I've also learned not to sweat the small stuff. As long as Selin isn't in danger of harming herself or someone else or making a mess that will be impossible to clean up, I'm trying to be more flexible instead of always saying "no, you can't play in the sink/reorganize the snack drawer/take all the DVDs out of the entertainment center, etc. It's important to just let kids be kids. :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2003
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 1:53pm

Funny...my SIL and I were just talking about this last week.

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Avatar for ubergeek
Community Leader
Registered: 09-23-2010
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 1:53pm

Oh definitely yes. "My kid will never scream and carry on like that!" Ha! ;)

While I didn't feed my son Wendy's at her kids' ages, he was eating it by 6 or so. And it's not like I was against it. But I was all gung-ho for homemade food prior. That went down the tube fast! Same with this little one. I was all ready to make homemade food again and bam! life got in the way. Maybe if there were 36 hours in a day...

Now I'm more of a head-nodder or a "I've got one of those at home" type moms. If someone has an unruly child, I just look at the mom/dad and just shake my head, "Dude. I know. I know."

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 1:56pm
I can relate to this article! Being a parent is so hard and there are days when you just do the best you can do and hope it is good enough. Before I had kids I had this vision in my head of how wonderfully behaved they would be and how peaceful and serene our house would be. Reality is much different! There are days when I end up at the store, cheerios stuck to my shirt, my son screaming in the cart, and all I want to do is get out of there with my gallon of milk and sanity in hand! However, I will also say that being a parent is so much MORE than I thought it would be. I never imagined how much I would love another being until my son was born. It isn't perfect, but I wouldn't trade it for the world!
Hope, Mommy to Spencer Expecting Baby #2 09/17/12
Community Leader
Registered: 04-07-2008
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 1:57pm

Guilty! I am so guilty of judging pre-kids. 4 kids and a grandchild later I can tell you that there are a few words that will never leave my mouth again and they are: If that were my kid.... or my kid would never_____ (just fill in the blank)

Sheesh!

Karla
Community Leader
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 2:00pm
ubergeek wrote:

Now I'm more of a head-nodder or a "I've got one of those at home" type moms. If someone has an unruly child, I just look at the mom/dad and just shake my head, "Dude. I know. I know."

Hope, Mommy to Spencer Expecting Baby #2 09/17/12
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2009
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 2:03pm
I can relate a bit. Before kids, I thought breastfeeding was weird, all kids were annoying, and letting a kid sleep with parents was creepy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 2:34pm

I absolutely loved this article!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2009
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 2:58pm

"Judge" is such a harsh word. I like to say that I "overestimated my parenting capabilities." :smileyvery-happy: We all have the best intentions, but it's just a fact of life that things never quite work out as planned.

I thought I'd be able to instill a sense of, say, where it's acceptable to run around a yell and have fun (park) and where it's unacceptable to do so (grocery store). I always told DH that I never acted that way as a child (it's true!) and that my kids would never do so either because I'd teach them that it's not okay. What I overestimated was my ability to teach them things like this. Some days my kids behave, but there are many more days when I bribe, yell, plead and even have to leave the store.

It's not that I don't still want all of those pre-parenthood dreams for my kids, it's just that it's impossible unless I figure out how to clone myself!

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