worried and feeling guilty

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2007
worried and feeling guilty
7
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 11:57am

Hi everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 12:10pm
Leona, not good news about the canser but good news that they caught it early. I hope that your mother's surgery goes well and that they get all of it! Is there any way you could take a few unpaid days off to be with your mother? Chance your boss would understand and give you the days? I don't know what you do so I don't know what other options you might have. Good luck and I hope she has a good surgery and that you are feeling better.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 1:01pm

Leona,

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom's cancer. I hope the hysterectomy can completely take care of it.

I understand your concerns about going to the hospital, and I don't blame you for BEING concerned, however, if I were you, I would be there for your Mother. You know she would be there for you if the tables were turned. I think you would probably feel so guilty for not going that it would erase any potential benefit.

Plus, a hysterectomy is sort of a big deal in that your Mom will be losing the organ that defines her as a woman (including hormonally). Most people I have heard of who have gone through hysterectomy's were dealing with as much psychological and emotional pain as physical pain. She will have to redefine to herself what it means to be a woman, and if my Mom were going through that, I would definitely want to be there to support her.

I hope whatever decision you make, you end up feeling okay about it. (((HUGS))) that you have to go through this at all.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Fri, 03-19-2010 - 10:11am

I am so sorry to hear about your mom and her cancer, and like others said that's great news that they caught it early!!

If it were me I would take either some vacation time now and unpaid time later, or take unpaid time now to spread it out. As much as I would want to spend time with my baby, I can take off days here and there in the future, but I would want to be with my mom. If I didn't and god forbid something happened (I hope it doesn't though) I would be awful that I didn't spend time with her.

That being said I don't know how far it is away or how your family handles medical things. When my parents go in for surgery my aunt, my mom or dad, my cousin and I all take off of work. but when DH's parents go in for surgery, it's a no big deal. they don't take off work to spend the time at the hospital and they usually just visit at night. so I guess it depends on your family.

Or you could talk to your mom and see what she wants you to do, maybe you could take a day after the surgery to go out there instead of while she is in the hospital to help her out at home.

Good luck!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2007
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 11:34am

Thanks, ladies.


I have tried to talk to my mom from the beginning and have offered to spend a week with her while she recovers after surgery.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 12:13pm

(((HUGS))) Leona. It sounds like you have a ton on your plate right now. Try to deal with one thing at a time. You have MONTHS to decide on a name, it is FINE that you don't have one right now.

I'm just sorry you are having to deal with all of this in the first place. Hang in there.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2005
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 11:25am
I will say a prayer for you and your family! *hugs* I hope they caught this early and she will have a quick recovery!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2007
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 1:08pm
Thanks.