Call me stupid!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2006
Call me stupid!
7
Tue, 04-06-2010 - 6:26pm

When will i learn?


There is a mom with twins (approx 9) and another girl (age8) that I babysat for 1 week when I first started daycare. This mom was going through a hard time. I babysat, she kept "forgetting" to pay me- long story short- I think I got paid- but took about a month.


I see this mom and her girls at school- her children attend same school that my kids attend and that I provide escort to. I am polite but have sort of kept my distance.


I heard from my other provider friends that she was in a bind and really needed daycare. All of them were full. Anyways she was supposed to phone me before Easter wknd to see if i could do daycare for her again. She didn't call. But she showed up at my door on Easter Monday( a holiday for me). I was heading out the door to do some things with my own children. She told me that she just got hired at a dr's office. She is a nurse. She is living in secret housing- hiding from abusive ex- she needed someone to provide after school care for all the girls. I felt bad for her. I lowered my rate and offered to look after the 3 girls for $30 day (after school care). I told her my daycare was closed at 5pm sharp. She was okay with all that. She would normally be picking up girls by 4:30. 4:45m.


Well you guessed it. Today was the first day. She didn't show up until after 6pm. I asked if she was planning on being this late everyday and reminded her of my closing time. She said she probably would. I then apologized and told her that I was done at 5pm. I offered to provide care on Thursday this week. But said I had obligations and commitments after 5pm. She cried and left. And now I feel crappy. Also, stupid me, because she was starting a new job i agreed to wait to be paid. My guess is that I provided childcare for free today. sigh.


I am so disappointed- because I want to help people when I can- but this proves again that everytime I take off my business hat- and try to be "nice"- I end up feeling used. The only good thing is that i had the nerve to say something today before this situation continued.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 04-06-2010 - 6:35pm

I totally understand. I'd have probably done the same thing. Good for you for saying something. Yeah, she cried and yeah, you felt bad, but you'd have felt worse if you'd just let it go on. It would eat at you and you'd end up bitter. You were upfront and honest. Can't ask for anything more.

I'm getting short now (9 more weeks!) but keep thinking to myself when something comes up, *If I ever do this again, I'll do {this} like {this}.* I don't plan on coming back to child care for several reasons, but I'm not totally closing that door. It'll always be a thought. :)

Hugs.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 04-06-2010 - 6:36pm
Oh, and you're not stupid. You're human. :)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 04-06-2010 - 10:28pm

No one can take advantage of you w/o your permission. Guess you didn't give it! You did great. You did not enable her AND more importantly you watched out for yourself and all those things you are responsible for such as the other dck's, your own kids, yourself, and your business and family financial well being.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 11:05am

Purple, there's a big difference between helping people who truly need it and people taking advantage of you because you want to help.

Deb


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2010
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 5:26pm

I agree with what Deb said.
You gave her a second chance, and she blew it.
I'd think, if needed, you could write today off as a non-recoverable bad debt...if that's any consolation :)

Melissa
~ Mom to 5 ~
~ Melissa ~ ‎"We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people that are not serving us, if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity." - Barbara de Angelis
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 9:58pm

God bless you, you have a big heart.


You gave her an opportunity to redeem herself and she showed you immediately that she hasn't changed.


Don't feel bad for letting her go the way you did.

siiy 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2006
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 5:43pm

Thanks Ladies.


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