Sometimes, don't you just wish....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Sometimes, don't you just wish....
18
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 9:54am

That you could not deal with the parents at all? Just with certain families? Install a drive in window or something.. LOL

The almost 2yo dcg I have who has the demanding parents, watch tv while she eats, warm chocolate milk, me feed her instead of her feeding herself, bottles only, no cups... The mom has managed once again to throw me for a loop yesterday.

Dcg was out sick all last week and finally came back yesterday. They usually arrive right in the middle of our preschool time. I usually don't mind because dcg doesn't participate (because she has no interest, usually just wants to eat crayons) and just continue doing what we're doing and mom leaves after a few minutes of watching. Well, yesterday was the letter G and we were smack dab in the middle of making gingerbread cookies when they arrived. I did not stop what I was doing, just said, "Hey! Dcg is back! Come on over!" And I put some cookie dough down on the table for her to play with. Mom hovered for a few minutes. Then finally said, "Wasn't she even missed last week?" I said sure she was! Everyone kept asking about her, I'm glad she's back. Mom said, "Well, she sure didn't get much of a welcome back!" Uh.. we are in the middle of something here...

So, mom says, "Ok, I guess I'll just go." I said, "Ok, have a great day!" Then I could tell dcg wasn't interested in the cookie dough, so I had her make her handprint in it and transferred it to the cookie sheet. Just as I finished putting it on the cookie sheet, mom comes back in and just stares at me. I asked her if she forgot something... She said, "I want to talk to you." Yeah, ok, sure.. I'll stop teaching the class, stop helping the kids who were ALL asking me for help with their cookie dough and come talk to you. She said she just wanted to know if things were ok between us. I said yes, they are, I'm just trying to teach the preschool class. She said she just thought dcg would get more of a welcome back. I told her things were fine and I just needed to get back to the kids.

Was she expecting a welcome back party???

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2000
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 10:33am

Yeah this job would be great if it weren't for the customers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 10:52am

Well, you know she's the center of the world, don't you??? :p It's frustrating when parents expect us to drop everything when they drop off or pick up. Sometimes we just can't do it. I guess a simple "Hey, everyone! Tell Girly 'welcome back!'" was in order. It probably wouldn't have disrupted preschool too much and it may have pacified mom. Who knows. We can't read their minds and when we try, we're usually wrong. Can't win for losing. Don't let it bother you.

Siggy
siggy pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 11:01am

Most of the time, I am like that. I make sure each family knows that I love and care for their child(ren) very much. I tell all of my families that their kids are like my own while they are under my roof. I am sure to make it clear with each and every family. I have 5 families and out of the 5, this is the only one who constantly questions everything. She calls me almost nightly, usually around 8 or 8:30. I have told her over and over that I don't answer the phone most times because that is my family time. She will call my home over and over, finally leaving a message. On nights she doesn't call, she leaves a message. In the beginning I would answer, but it was never an emergency, it has always been something that could wait for business hours. I have explained this to her and now she has started e-mailing half the time and calling the other half of the time, usually to go over something that I have already talked to her about. I feel that I have been bending over backwards for this particular family, they are getting a huge discount, they don't have a set schedule, drop off and pick up times change with no notice to me at all, they are constantly asking me to change my policies and procedures to suit their needs, then a dozen phone calls and/or e-mails follow, wanting to discuss why I won't change my policies afterwards. They tell me a lot that they are glad I am willing to talk with them and they appreciate it because their past providers said they had enough of the constant unhappiness with service and evening phone calls and terminate care.

I have never shown this family anything but respect and I am trying to work with them as best as I can still maintaining my policies and I always show their daughter nothing but love. Honestly though, with this mother, I feel I could work to keep her happy 24 hours a day and it still wouldn't be enough for her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 11:09am

Actually, I said a very excited and happy Hi! and ___ is here! The other kids turned and said Hi S!! Then went back to cookies. I got right up and got her some dough and sat down to help her and told her I was soooo glad she was feeling better!

Honestly, I don't see anything wrong in the way that she was greeted. I gave her a hug and tried to involve her in our project. The other kids were asking me for help, but I asked them to wait just for a minute while I helped S since she had just gotten here, focusing all of my attention on her little one for a bit. I really feel that she is incapable of being happy with care, no matter what. Maybe if I were only watching her child and none of the others...?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 11:10am

I can see it both ways. I'd hate to disrupt working with Gingerbread too for a daycare drop off.


June2010.jpg picture by slk70

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 11:53am
I know I am in the minority here, but I wouldn't even keep a family like that. They obviously don't respect you or have any faith in the care you give. I am all for giving 100% and making parents AND kids feel great but there

Tonya

Mom to:

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 12:09pm
So other providers have terminated care for that same behavior? Can't they get a clue? What they do aggravates people. Seriously- I would be honest and tell them it has to stop or termination is coming.

sept2009.jpg picture by slk70


June2010.jpg picture by slk70

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 12:40pm
Well, then to top it all off, mom asked me if she could pay me this morning instead of yesterday because she wasn't going to get paid until last night. Usually mom drops off and the nanny picks up. Nanny dropped off this morning with no payment. If she has no payment tonight at pick up, I will be letting mom know that she cannot return without payment and late fees. I honestly put up with quite a lot from this woman and if this happens again, I am planning on terminating.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2000
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 6:13pm

She calls me almost nightly, usually around 8 or 8:30. I have told her over and over that I don't answer the phone most times because that is my family time. She will call my home over and over, finally leaving a message. On nights she doesn't call, she leaves a message.


Tell her you never answer the "day care line" during non business hours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 8:03pm

Tell her you never answer the "day care line" during non business hours. Tell her that the ringer is always turned off when the last child leaves your home. Tell her you also do not check your BUSINESS email when you are not working. Make it clear she can not get ahold of you in the evening or on the weekends. If you want, blame it on your husband. Tell her that he is becoming upset at how much you are having to WORK in the evening and weekends and you have made an agreement with him that you won't do that anymore. Family first.

-- I have told her this and I have stopped answering the phone. If she leaves a message I return her call the next business day once I am open. I also do not return any e-mails until the next business day. I was just venting about this.

I see a huge problem in what you are saying here. Somehow you have yourself convinced that you are doing these guys a favor and making exceptions for them. Quit thinking like that because it isn't true. You are charging them what you charge. You can call it a discount but it really isn't. You are charging what you believe to be what you can GET for this kid in this slot. You are doing this for YOU not for them.

---I am giving them a discount and they know it. I felt bad for them and did agree to this even though I had other families wanting this spot for my full rate. I am now kicking myself for it, but the difference in money is not going to kill me either way. I did it to be a nice person.

When you negotiate with them on policies you are doing it for YOU. When you are allowing schedule changes you are doing it for YOU. When you are answering their calls you are doing it for YOU. Quit telling yourself you are doing this for any other reason than you want their money and you believe or know it is the best you can do right now. When you can do better you will do better.. but for now this is what YOU are doing for yourself.

---Again, just venting about how often they ASK me to change my policies for them. I have never negotiated my policies for them. It has just been a constant argument since day one about my policies and why I will not change them for one family.

And yes, I have thought a lot about replacing them. We will be moving in a couple of weeks and they are planning on going with me to the new location. (As are all of my families, even though it will be out of the way for most.) I have decided that I am going to wait until after I settle in to the new house to make my decision on terminating this family or not. I have 3 other people wanting the spot, but willing to wait until December when this one turns 2 if needed, but would love to have it sooner. I just haven't decided yet.

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