Finally Friday - Long and tortured

Community Leader
Registered: 04-22-2003
Finally Friday - Long and tortured
5
Fri, 05-09-2014 - 1:18am

Okay yesterday was the worst. Not only was it the 11-week anniversary of Danny's death, but Kate had a meltdown and said she "wanted to die." She was crying, said she didn't want to live anymore, couldn't do it really, and when I couldn't talk reason to her... we proceeded to the emergency room. Thank God she knew enough to talk to me before trying to hurt herself.

She has been grieving this whole time, but this is the first I've seen her suicidal. Come to find out today that she has been drinking and smoking pot, in addition to smoking cigarettes (which I'd already caught her at). I would love to know just which idiot/s are supplying her with this stuff, but she isn't naming names. I explained that depression is made worse by drugs and alcohol, not to mention both are illegal at her age so she needs to cool it. UGH!!! She scared at least a decade off me with this stunt, probably more. Our little community can't handle any more teen deaths. We really can't, especially precious Katie. Danny would freak -- he didn't do ANY OF THAT NONSENSE and was very protective of her!

Anyway, they said she needs to be on medication for this depression that resulted from her acute grief reaction. Hopefully the mood stabilizer will get Katie up and interacting with life again in a productive manner. She will get a new therapist to go along with the psychiatrist, hopefully someone she can talk to this time. Good thing I'm rich (right!) but I promised her from the beginning we'd provide all the counseling she needs and we will. She seemed grateful that I didn't just "drop her off" at a psych facility which was what she feared. I was like "yeah, because I've abandoned you so often in your life" (but honestly if she's a danger to herself or others -- I'll drop her off right now, don't doubt it for a minute).

So here we go into Mother's Day. I hope yours is much smoother sailing. Please let us know what you did for the mom(s), and how your weekend went. I will soak up any vicarious joy I can get.

HAPPY MOM'S DAY!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2005
Fri, 05-09-2014 - 4:31pm

OMgoodness, Margaret...I'm so sorry to hear this.  I'm so glad that she did at least talk to you before she did anything to harm herself, how scary!  I do hope this medication and the new therapists can help to guide her into the right direction.  Danny would have never wanted her to do these things to herself.  Such a tragic thing for her to have to go through at such a young age.  You are doing a great job being there for her...don't ever forget that.!!!!!!!!!!!

We are having the family over for a cook out tomorrow afternoon!!  That's our Mother's Day plans.....easy and low key!!

You are one Awesome Mother, hang in there you are doing a great job!

TGIF!

Spring Siggy
Community Leader
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sat, 05-10-2014 - 2:13am

Mary, I love you. I feel like a subpar mother because my daughter is suffering. UGH! I'll fix it if there is a way...

Thank you for sweet words when I really need some. (Danny loved "fun facts." Fun Fact for our Lurker Board Supporters:  Katie's first name is... wait for it - yep, Mary. As you well know, her name is Mary Katherine, but I dubbed her Katie in the delivery room so she wouldn't be confused with my gorgeous Grandma Mary (deceased dad's mom, thankfully she knew all about mini-Mary/Katie before that). And I totally named Kate after the cool chick in Wisconsin I never heard of yet. Surprised Also I didn't think Katie looked like a "Sarah" which was DH's preferred name for our unborn baby girl until the minute after I delivered and looked at her. I was right. How could my [as of today] 118 pound, 5 foot 3 inch, Katie relate to the book Sarah 'Plain and Tall.' She isn't plain or tall. Totally illogical, although my littles and I really enjoyed reading the book and the sequels this winter.

Meanwhile, I despise drama - but it is coming up these weeks.... Lurkers (Merry Xmas in advance or late), you can read my iVillage posts for the past decade for confirmation I rarely engage and attempt to be supportive rather than combative. I don't stir the 'brown stuff' because I had my fill long ago as a child when I did not have a 'say so.' Survivors will relate and commiserate.

So when I haven't gone rounds with [popular boxer of your choice], remind me to tell you:

How much I like boxing, I do. That proves how much I'm avoiding telling you about:

I'll tell you all of it very soon...

It just got crazier...

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Community Leader
Registered: 04-22-2003
Mon, 05-12-2014 - 1:14am

I'm going to have to go rounds with whomever is supplying her with all of these illegal substances!! She doesn't stray far from home so I know it's close!!

Really close!

Also I just saw her kissing a boy in my driveway.

I kid you not.

Logan is a friend of the teenage boys next door. In his defense, he was not smoking a cigarete when Katie was although he was with her when I busted her. But why did Katie swear he was "just a friend" and then I saw her kissing him hours later? She is hiding something(s) obviously...

I don't want the drama or confrontation, but it's here. Kate's life may well be in the balance.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/05/09/health/suicide-attempt-irpt-christine-ohagan/index.html?hpt=us_c2

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2005
Mon, 05-12-2014 - 3:28pm

I cannot even imagine what you are going through right now!  You know, I've always heard that most drug dealers/pushers do NOT do drugs themselves...So that is why you most likely didn't see Logan smoking anything, if he is her supplier.  Stick with it, who else is going to be Katies, advocate?  Take on that confrontation head on!

Is your DH supportive or is he in denial?

Spring Siggy
Community Leader
Registered: 04-22-2003
Thu, 05-15-2014 - 1:15am

It's hard to say. Logan is a friend of the teen boys next door and I know pot has been an issue before with that crowd. When Danny was alive, Katie didn't have anything to do with any of them. Now she is over there a lot. Just kill me now.

As for DH, he is scared like I am, but expects me to handle everything. Must be nice, Boyo.

He came up here the other evening suggesting I "take Katie for a walk" like she is still in a stroller. I cracked up. I was like, "um, well, I'm actually on the clock and typing for the next 4 hours here, but you have legs - have fun with her." He didn't say anything else about it. Apparently my whole family is crazy, LOL.

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