Where do you stand with the other moms as a work from home mom?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2003
Where do you stand with the other moms as a work from home mom?
Wed, 03-26-2014 - 4:20pm

My son is in a small school where all kids from the grade are in the same class, every year.  Moms associate like this:  stay at home moms associate with eachother, and the working moms associate with eachother.  Of course, exceptions are influenced by which children befriend eachother. 

Where do you work from home moms find yourself falling? 

I find it is the working moms that want to associate with me the most.  Lately I believe the working moms just need the relationship with me so they can use me for half days and days off that don't fall into their vacation time. 

I'm sorry if I sound prejudice but I like the working moms better.  I get along with them better.  I don't like the non working moms very much.  I find they too often have dramas that seem a little mean or catty.  I think I plain just don't like them much.  I put no effort into getting closer to them lest my dislike of them begin to show and turn into something I'll regret.   I smile at them and chat briefly enough to keep it smiley and freindly but I make no overtures to them ever.

But I'm also tired of the one way street with the working moms.  I'm always hosting theirs and they've gone full on lazy now after the years have gone by and not even trying to reciprocate by hosting mine.  At this point they don't even try to hide it.  It's just one way.  If I invite, it's a yes.  I receive very few, what feels like no invitations.  I once made a trade with a mom to get us through spring break.  I watched her kid for two of the weekdays so she could work.  She watched mine for two days so I could work.  ON her days she dropped her kid here 8AM and picked him up by 6PM.  But on my days she called me to warn me nto to bring mine until 11AM so she could clean and to pick him up by 5PM so she could shop for the dinner.  I never traded with her again.  And I think she has gotten that message loud and clear but she does nothing to improve her standing.  No invites.

Do any of you experience this?

Community Leader
Registered: 04-22-2003

I'd say I'm the opposite. I friend the other moms (working or stay at home, doesn't matter to me, I think they're all nice) as a social outlet for myself like Bunco or book club, but never for child care. I feel like that is for me to handle on my own and I literally do all of my work around it.

I guess the good side to this is nobody expects to me to watch their munchkins in return (which is good - I'm working!). I usually offer on my days off for newborns since they are easy peasy and so itty bitty, but once the kiddos are dumping buckets of toys they won't pick up and threatening to climb my book shelves, I'm okay with them staying home and letting me enjoy my day off in peace and quiet, KWIM?

As for your situation, it sounds like you will need to communicate your expectations better so you don't feel taken advantage of. Some social moms I know just love play dates so their child has someone to play with and don't expect them returned, maybe your friends are thinking you are that type. Me? I have 4 kids already and already feel like the "woman in the shoe" - no need to invite more chaos than we already enjoy. Hope this helps!

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