New to the Group

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2005
New to the Group
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 10:35am

Hi Ladies,

New to the group and looking to just chat with other women who have the same situation in that they are a WAHM.

I am a partner in a a technical recruiting firm, doing nationawide placements for technology companies. My partner and I both work from our homes, although she is unwed and sans child. I love her to pieces, but she has no clue about what it's like to balance work and family, which can make things difficult for me. I am up around 5-5:30 every morning, slamming in as much work as possible before my 4 month old son gets up.

My other issue is making my husband better understand about his taking on the baby duties when he's home and I am working. Unfortunately, we live in N. Cali on the Peninsula where housing costs are some of the most expensive in the country, so I am without a dedicated room. My work space is on the kitchen table at this point, which makes it complicated when my husband is home from work. I feel I am too accesible to him to just leave our son by me while he goes for a run or out to the store (which I am certianly grateful he runs errands like that!).

The good news is that people tell me I am the most organized person they know, which is something I do not necessarily pride myself on because there is some obsessive-compulsiveness in there! However, I am able to get all the chores done without a housekeeper, take care of my son without a nanny, get to the gym or at leat work out 4 days a week, and work full-time from home with great reward. That is something I will brag about and we all should as WAHMs!!!!

Because I waited to have my first child until I was 30, I built up solid career experience. I earned my MBA (which I paid for through a company sponsorship and my own pocketbook) when I was 23, have 10 years of work experience, and climbed the corporate ladder which set me up for what I needed to be a WAHM. There was great sacrifice to get here. Migrated from from Illinois to California, bit the housing cost bullet and am still renting, but making great investments into retirement and my son's education. My family is back in the Midwest, so I do not have a babysitter or someone to step in to give me a break (some people have no idea how good they have it on that note!). Would have loved to have kids sooner, but knew that if I got myself set up, I would be able to be both Mom and career woman. There would have been more sacrifice on my son in my not working than working- I need the adult intellectual stimulation to keep sane!

My two cents on this whole WAHM thing...I have to say that to earn a decent dollar staying at home takes a great deal of time to set up, determination, and motivation. It is not for everyone. You have really put in the time up front otherwise I don't believe there is a whole lot of payout. There are no shortcuts and certainly no get rich quick jobs. I think those are the biggest fallacies perceived by women looking to be a WAHM. There is truly no work out of the home, full-time job that supports women in the ways they need to be supportedm which is why I am here. Please post what job it is you do if you think otherwise! ;)

My goal here is to be an advocate for us WAHM, help others who wish to be, and support those like myself who need the shoulder to lean on.

Glad to be here and looking forward to getting to know you!


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
In reply to: mcp823
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 7:18pm

Hi Melissa, and welcome.

I waited for kids too-- I tuaght HS math for 20 years before we adopted Brian, then gave birth to both my daughters in the next few years. I tutor and do some freelance writing to help make ends meet.

Think about contacting your local high school. Speak either to someone in guidance or the moderator of the National Honor Society. THe first may be able to find you sitters; the second may have kids who need community service hours and wouldn't mind playing mothers helper for a few hours.

Good luck!