Grown daughter told me that I was never there for her and that she raised herself.... this hurts!

Hi All...

I am a husband of a wonderful woman who worked from before her daughter was born until she was able to retire a couple of years ago.  My wife was a very successful senior manager at a Fortune 100 company and I too was a successful Fortune 100 senior manager.  My wife divorced her first husband when her daughter was 3 basically because it was a bad marriage and this guy could not hold a job for more than a few weeks... so she had to become successful to support herself and her daughter.  I came into their lives when her daughter was 6.  We both did well in Corporate America and were able to furnish our daughter with warm loving homes, food on the table, wonderful family vacations, excellent education including an out-of-state college, cars, clothes, you name it... yes, my wife's job was significant and she could not be there for some of the high school soccer games and other daytime functions, but she was always there for her daughter otherwise.... 

OK... so this week, our daughter is visiting us.  She is now 29 and married and she and her husband are thinking it is time to have some babies... so we got into the discussion last night and our daughter looked at her mom and said that she probably would end her career so that she could be a mother... that my wife was never there for her and that she basically had to raise herself.... well, needless to say, this caused great pain for my wife who loves her daughter more than anyone will ever know.... 

Thus I needed to reach out and ask some of you... how can I help my wife with this great wound that our daughter has caused?  My wife is cut to the core... I know our daughter loves her mother and I know that our daughter knows that her mother loves her... but the damage has been done, and my wife feels like she is a total failure as a mom now... she cried herself to sleep last night... and it just kills me to see her hurt so bad....

Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated....

Signed...

The man in the middle