I'm a first time mom struggling along. I worked outside the home for about a year. Roughly half my income went to childcare. My DH was mad that I wasn't keeping the house clean enough, getting dinner on the table well enough, paying enough attention to my daughter and to him.
So now I've been a SAHM for about 8 months. My DH is mad that I'm not keeping the house clean enough, meal planning/shopping like he thinks I should, paying enough attention to my daughter and to him. He's been threatening to "fire" me from being a SAHM because "you don't seem to want to take care of your daughter so I guess we need to pay someone else to do it". A few weeks ago I said "okay, I will go back to work", but he doesn't really want that either.
My mom and step-mom say I'm a good mom. It seems to me that DH is somewhat skewed in his viewpoint. I'm ADD and know that my attention roams and that I don't always have the clearest sense of myself. Also know that things like "details", "organization", "time management" are not my strengths. Listening to DH sounds like I'm a failure. Not sure if I'm keeping the DH or not, but that's a whole 'nuther topic.
I think my daughter might be more stimulated in a good daycare - playing with other kids, more structured activities/time. I would miss her and feel split down the middle again and I would be working to pay for her care (+ other expenses if DH and I split). It is nice to have contact with adults, however I'm not in a position to work at a job I really care about. I would most likely be back at clerical/admin work and bored out of my mind most of the time.
Should I "fire" myself and hire a professional? Any objective criteria?