I think most of us subscribe to the "whatever works" philosophy for the sah/woh "debate. We know that we live in a real world with real situations and what is "best" or "good enough" for one family may not work in another.
HOWEVER, if you could change things........
If you could change a few aspects of *your* circumstances, what would those be? And would it affect your sah/ptwoh/woh status or your partner's? What would happen? Would you be able to take several years off and be able to go back to your job? Would you and/or your spouse work part-time or reduced hours? Would your job be more "family friendly"? Would your available affordable local daycare center always be staffed with loving, caring, educated, potty training happy people? Would family be available? Would you hire Alice or Mary Poppins? Would you get 6 or 8 weeks of vacation every year?
Okay, that is enough about you.
Now, what would you change about the options/circumstances of what is around you? Daycare availability/affordability? Family friendly companies? More maternity/paternity leave? More vacation time? More accessible free family planning services?