DOWN UNDER UNION: Russell Crowe is officially off the market. The Oscar winner married girlfriend Danielle Spencer at his country ranch in Australia earlier today. The lavish ceremony coincided with Crowe's 39th birthday and my friend Jill's baby shower.
GOOD CALL: I'm going to refrain from overloading today's box office report with too many telephone puns and just report the fax: Colin Farrell's new thriller Phone Booth, which was put on hold as a result of last fall's real-life sniper crisis, got a ringing endorsement from moviegoers over the weekend, dialing up $15 million to debut at No. 1. Amanda Bynes's teen flick What a Girl Wants opened in second place with $12.1 million, followed by Vin Diesel's latest action saga A Man Apart (No. 3 with $11.2 million). Last weekend's top movie, Head of State, dropped to fourth place with $8.8 million.
FAMILY SQUABBLE: Eddie Griffin's stand-up comedy concert movie DysFunKtional Family — which was DOA at the box office with $1.1 million — is under attack from the Sikh Coalition. The group wants Miramax to remove a scene from the film in which Griffin points to a Sikh man and declares: "Bin Laden, I knew you was around here!" TV Guide Online is also demanding the sequence be deleted because it's just not funny.
MEA CULPA: Fox News reporter Geraldo Rivera issued an apology Sunday. Not for wasting our time with that whole Al Capone debacle. Or for that ugly chair-hurling melee that marred his late, not-so-great talk show. Or for all those bad hair days. No, Rivera expressed regret for breaking military rules last week when he revealed U.S. troop movements in Iraq. In an interview Sunday on Fox, he said he admitted he "should have been more careful."
SOUNDS SUSPICIOUS...: David Letterman, who was sidelined from CBS's Late Show for a month due to shingles, has been dealt another major blow: His cue card guy Tony Mendez (known to viewers as "Big Ink") has quit for personal reasons. "He informed us that he wanted to move on," exec producer Rob Burnett told Variety.
HARVEY GOES HOLLYWOOD: Broadway star Harvey Fierstein, who's earning raves for his gender-bending role as mom Edna Turnblad in the musical Hairspray, is taking his drag act to the small screen. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Fierstein has signed a deal with Touchstone and ABC to play a Roseanne-esque matriarch in a new, untitled family sitcom. The project is being produced by Craig Zadan and Neil Meron, the duo behind Chicago.
AVON LADDY: It's beauty tool time for Tim Allen. The Home Improvement alum has inked a deal to headline In the Pink, a big-screen comedy about a corporate playboy who loses his cushy job and turns to selling Mary Kay cosmetics. It's based on the book The Rise and Fall of Ted Turner. I kid.
BIG KID: NBC's America's Most Talented Kid is shaping up to be TV's next big reality hit. Friday's telecast drew 11.2 million viewers and beat CBS's faltering Star Search.
SHORT CUTS: Extra has hired Bachelorette runner-up Charlie Maher to serve as a special correspondent... The third (and likely final) season of The Osbournes kicks off on June 10, MTV confirms.