A list of resolutions I truly believe I can keep

1. I will eat more chocolate. Sorry, Dr. Atkins, but I believe it's un-American to go on a diet that forbids M&M's.

2. I will see more children's movies, even though I don't have kids. When most Hollywood schlock aimed at adults is too juvenile for words, it's a kid movie like The Incredibles that turns out to be the cleverest film of the year.

3. I will not vote for another President for four years or refer to states by color.

4. I will enjoy myself more. This shouldn't be difficult, since I'll be avoiding politics, eating more M&M's, and watching cartoons.