My hubby has been mine for 8 yrs and we have 5 kids 15yrs to 2 yrs. My hubby is very sick with fatty liver disease. He says he is being faithful but in Dec 09 I found phone 3#s and email addresses of women and I called them and they knew my hubby's phone # and email address. I confronted my hubby and he said I planted the #s in his phone . Things settled down and he became more attentive and loving and just a devoted papa and hubby again. He used to cheat when we weren't married 6 times. I 3 days ago was in a Dollar Store with him since he always wants to go with me everywhere which is good. Well we were getting children's ibuprofen and he got a text and he quickly looked at his phone and looked panicked at me as he shoved his phone back in his pocket. I said Who was that?! He said Oh just verizon ! I said no I don't think so cause you wouldn't act like that if it was the phone company. I said that is it! I went to our van and got in. I asked him when he got in to let me see who it was .! He said I don't have to ! You should trust me enough not to have to ask.! I reminded him of the Dec mess and he said it was my mess that I planted.I heard his phone ring next and he quickly looked and quickly shoved it in his pocket again! I said let me see who that was and he said no. I said why not if it is just the phone company. The next day he asked if I was done with my sh*t. I said let me see your phone. He said he doesn't have to. I should just trust him. He is dieing from his liver condition only has 1 1/2 yrs left. He doesn't want to live with his family saying we are too stressful for him and we are disrespectful cause we are going to be living on after he dies. He wouldn't die if he would loose weight so he can have a liver transplant. I say to him that he is betraying his kids too. He says that he isn't. He says that I probably am. Since I talk to our mutual friend and neighbor that I never am alone with or let in my house or never go anywhere with and I am only chaperoned with outside when we talk. My hubby says when he comes over now he won't bring his phone with since he thinks I will plant phone #s in it to cause trouble. I tell him why does that make sense when it would only make our marriage worse and I am the one trying to keep our family together so that the kids have good memories of him just in case he does die. I grieve for him and his possible death and the loss of my hubby that I did know before all this craziness of health problems and new cheating happened. How am I showing that I don't value our marriage and our kids' family life? I just wanted to give our kids as stable and "normal" family life as I could just in case our dear papa and hubby leaves this world. I don't understand how this wouldn't be the most important thing for him after getting himself better.!! If I was dieing I would put all other things aside and focus on my health and the security of my family! I hope he understands that we wish for him to live because if he dies then we loose a piece of out heart a big one! That is what love is! That is how you know you love someone ! The thought of them not being in your life is unbearable! I need help with clarity and how to deal with my sadness so I will make good choices for my family.Help!