It has been nearly 18 months since I found out about my H affair and over this time I asked more questions and the pieces of the puzzle started to fill in

I have found myself feeling cheated out of my life and my time

I gave all of it while he was out having a good time

I am started to want to be with other men, somehow I feel it will set the record straight and then I too can actually choose my H or MY A just like I had to wait on my H to choose.

I feel like its wrong but at the same time I cant get it out of my head

that if we both did it then we are both losers and can start over

I know I sound crazy and I might be, I just cant seem to get over all the lies and

the fact that he gave me and STD to.

I am angry and hurt, I thought I could do better and we would get passed it , and he has changed and is doing all the right things, counseling, I have phone records emails all of it and yet I still cant move on

Can anyone relate or am I really crazy