Anyways, now that our dd is born, it's gotten a little better, but I just don't have the same drive as I did before she was born. My dh works nights so he is always sleeping during the day, sometimes for long hours, has been 12+. So it's just me and my dd. She wakes up at 5:30am, I feed her and we are usually back to sleep by 7am, back up around 9 and then she usually naps again till around 11. I don't get to goto bed until at the latest sometimes 12am when my dd has finally gone to sleep for the night. That's a 12+ hour day. By the time 10pm rolls around I am usually pretty tired. My dh doesn't understand. I once said to him that after the baby was born everything bedroom wise would be back to normal. For the most part, it is. Except for the fact that there's no love or romance. I try explaining it to him, he will just say to me "You wanna do it?!" or "Let's do it!" Meanwhile our dd is up all bright eyed, I ask him, "and what do you want me to do with our dd? I'm not just going to leave her sitting in the living room alone while we have sex! That's just not right." Plus it really gives me the creeps for some reason.
I just wanna know where the romance is?! I tried explaining to him that it's different for women. They can't just get into it at the snap of a finger like men can. (I'm sure there are some that can, I just can't...) I asked him if he'd ever heard of fore play. I said, "maybe try it sometime" He gets all pi$$ed off when I say no and then won't talk to me when I try and explain this to him. I NEED romance, I NEED more then just an "I love you" What ever happened to MAKING LOVE?! How do I make him understand that a woman needs to be shown love, as well as told?! He just doesn't get it, and I just don't know how to get him to understand what I mean. I said to him, "would you like me to just say ok, everytime you ask me and then just lay there, because YOU wanted to and I didn't?" He just tells me to go away, because he doesn't want to talk to me. So right now, he's laying on the floor in our dd's room sleeping because, he says, I should lay with our dd till she falls asleep. I KNOW he's in there because he's ticked off at me because I said I didn't want to have sex.
WHY WHY WHY doesn't he understand? I've tried telling him nicely, he doesn't get it, we've fought about it, and he doesn't get it, I've tried just not talking about it at all, and he doesn't get it. HOW do I get him to understand what I mean? Like am I wrong here? I NEED romance, I NEED to be shown love. I just don't get it?! Why won't he listen to me? I am SO tired of fighting and bickering over stupid stuff like this. Is this relationship forever doomed or is there a way to get him to understand me?
Edited 5/28/2003 9:27:34 AM ET by magma01