I am new and hoping that someone can give me some insight on what might be going on with my daughter. Sorry this will be rather long. I have 2 daughters, K just turned 5, and X is 11 weeks. Let me start off by saying that K was this way before the baby. Actually before I got pregnant.
I am not sure when we started noticing problems with K. One month seems like years at this point. She started Kiddie Kollege last year and we thought it would help with some of the issues we were having. She wont listen to anything we say. We have to continue to repeat ourselves. Family members tell us we need to do something about this or that but never have any type of suggestion in helping. She is in Kindergarten and refuses to do her homework. We have worked for hours to just get her to write her name. She has 8 letters in her name, 2 being repeated. Anyway, we have been getting notes from the teacher saying she doesnt want to do her classwork either. Some days she has to set out of playtime because it takes her that long to do it. She hates to color and when she has to (most of K is coloring) she scribbles in all different colors.
Yesterday we took both kids to the dr. I took the DS for her to play while we waited. She had a fit when I put it back in the bag. Whining and screaming for close to 10 minutes. When she finally got over that fit, she started climbing the walls. She would get in her sisters face and trying talking to her. She would move the drs chair all over the room. She kept jumping off the step on the table and hitting the wall. She would sit in the chair and lean forward and backward to make this popping sound. We told her numerous times to stop, and she would just smirk and continue. After we left we were going to go eat but hadnt decided. She kept screaming "tell me what we are going to eat, if you dont I will start screaming". We kept asking what she wanted, but she wouldnt tell us. When we got to where we were going to eat, she kept crawling all over her dad. She would stand up in the seat and hit the light above the table. Again, we told her numerous times to stop.
We have tried all kinds of punishment. Nothing works. If we put her in time out, she will just scream till we let her out, or till she falls asleep. If we spank her, she will go into hysterics like we beat her with a metal pipe. She isnt happy unless she is getting her way. She wants her sister to be crying constantly. She doesnt want her to sleep when she is around. So, we are dealing with unruly K and colicky X. Not a good mixture. Their dad and I have gotten to the point where we get ill with each other because we are so stressed out.
Here is the kicker and where we are running into a brick wall. She is extremely SHY. We put her in dance class. She has been 3 times so far. She just stands there. She will not talk to anyone she doesnt know. She will not go play some where if there is a child she doesnt know around. She even has issues answering her teacher when she ask her a question. If she meets someone she knows in an unfamiliar place, she wont talk to them. We dont know what is wrong, but we know it has to be something. I dont see how this is just a "normal" kid thing. We asked the dr yesterday and they said that they dont start testing until a few months after a child turns six. I am not sure I can wait that long. I just want to help her, and I hope someone can send me in the right direction.