I'm having a really hard time coping right now. I'm super nervous about my family Thanksgiving party, where I will see around fifty family members, and probably have to figure out how to answer questions about why I'm not pregnant yet. I really don't want everyone to know about my issues because they're huge gossips and can be very hurtful, but if I don't answer honestly I feel like I'm misrepresenting myself. My family is hugely pro-life and we are all Catholic. Our religion teaches that contraception is wrong, so the fact that I have a two-year-old and am not pregnant is really conspicuous. I'm sorry if this is offfensive to anyone.
On top of all this, I've been getting updates on my least favorite aunt's TTC process. That's a very loose term. She has a one-year-old and just failed her MCATS twice, so she decided that since she can't be in medical school yet, she'll just have a baby instead. Just like the last time she conceived, she really didn't want to, but her husband heavily pressured her, so she just did it. She freaked out again right after she had sex while ovulating, and is really hoping she's not pregnant yet, so that she can go out drinking on friday. She'll only be ten days post-O on Fri, but she's going to test and if it says negative, go out drinking anyway. I have so much secret anger at her that I can barely hold a conversation. I usually just pretend like I hear my kid calling me, and leave without warning. She was talking to me the other day about how she's been telling her daughter about babies and it made me cry because Brody has been completely baby-obsessed for almost a year now. He plays with baby dolls, carries them in tummy packs, breastfeeds them, kisses them.