Hi girls -
So just an update on my RE appt today. After my BFP and subsequent falling betas with my IVF, AF reared her ugly head last Thursday while on vaca - total bummer, but we knew she was coming so was prepared and tried to look on the bright side that some ladies have to wait weeks for AF to come after IVF protocols...
I went in knowing that he would suggest donor eggs and sure enough, that's what he wants us to do. Due to my age, the fact that I've now had two m/c (one at 12 weeks and a chemical) he said he can assume that it is my egg quality, or lack there of, that is causing this. Even if everything appears to come out "normal" as my baby was after testing and the embyro quality they put in on the IVF was top notch, an abnormal egg is just that, an abnormal egg that will not allow me to keep a pregnancy. Let me tell you, that is the most defeating feeling in the world - to be told that your "broken" and no matter what drugs he can give me, my body just won't respond as it should. He said if we would try IVF with my eggs again, he would guess that we would have the same result.
So now comes the "fun" part... In using donor eggs, there is so much more to think about than just saying great, I want to use a donor, want her to be blonde hair, blue eyed, normal build, not to tall, not to short and let's go to town. It's a process - we have to go to a licensed psychologist that the practice uses to be "cleared" prior to even beginning the process. Once cleared, we are put on the list and then wait our turn until we are matched by the clinic coordinator which can be two to three months. They will have a picture of me and pick a donor based on similar features and once they find that, they will present the donor candidate to DH and to consider. They will do a complete medical and mental work up on the donor - the clinic goes through a major process to get their donors so the slightest thing in a family background like diabetes, etc. and the donor will be rejected. I guess that is good to know for us. Once we agree on a donor, then comes the $$ part. We have two options... One is pay for a one cycle deal - we get as many eggs as the donor can produce, they retrieve, the lab fertilized with DH sperm and we see how many embies we get. Because these are young eggs (donors are typcially in their early 20's), they will only put two back in vs. three with my eggs due to quality and age. If we happen to have 6 that fertilize and are quality, they'll put two in and freeze the rest. If we don't happen to get a live birth from the original two, we can keep going back until all the frozen ones are gone. Option two is a money back guarantee - again, due to my age, with IVF this was never an option, but with donor eggs, it is for us. We would pay $15K more but be given three cycles to try and get our baby. So if we go through a cycle, get 6 eggs, put two back, they don't take, we can go back to another "fresh" cycle and try it again. Your stats are much higher with fresh vs. frozen. If after three cycles we still don't have a baby, we would get all our money back minus the cost of the meds for the donor. My odds increase from 16% with an IVF using my eggs to 74% with a donor egg. So I'm left with the question - Is it worth the risk of spending an additional $15K to give DH and I three shots at getting our baby? What if we go with one cycle and get our BFP and it sticks right out of the gate - will we just have spent $15K for nothing? I mean not nothing because we'll have a baby, but it's like flushing that right down the toliet.