I am 44 and recently had emdr therapy which brought up memories of 4 separate rapes that I had pushed deep down inside for a number of years. The first 2 occurred in 1981, the 3rd in 1985, and the 4th in 1987. I can't come to terms with this. I feel filthy, disgusted, ashamed, worthless. My tdoc has been very supportive telling me it is no way my fault. I can see one or maybe even 2, but 4? I've got to be doing something to bring this on! I feel so raw inside right now and I don't know what to do with it. I'm not a crier. I only cry when someone dies. So how do I get rid of it?