I am at the end of my rope. My 8yo DS has PDD-NOS and lately he has been so hostile and defiant and mouthy. It's impossible to reason with him or calm him down once he gets going and the smallest things set him off. One minute he's as sweet as can be and the next he's screaming, throwing things, calling me names, etc. And he does whenever and whereever the mood hits him - at home, at a crowded grocery store, the park, the doctor's office, etc. I spent about an hour yesterday sitting on my SIL's porch swing in 40-degree weather with no coat crying because I just hit my limit with him after he blew up because we told him he couldn't have dessert since he didn't touch his dinner. DH lost it and was yelling at him and telling everybody DS needs a good butt whooping. I know he was embarrassed that his child was yelling at him and calling him names in front of everyone but his reaction was not much better. I just can't do it anymore. We've tried timeouts, sending him to his room, taking away toys and priviledges, rewarding good behavior - nothing works. I realize that all of this comes with his disorder and what works with typical kids may not work with him. DH doesn't buy into any of that and thinks he's just spoiled and needs harder discipline.
I've visited with his dev. ped. and he's maxed out on his Strattera (can't do stimulants) and Celexa. We tried Tenex and it made him wet the bed. The fact that he behaves well at school (sometimes is ornery but never hostile or tempermental), suggests to the dev. ped. that it's all a "parenting issue" - I read that as him suggesting I'm just not handing things correctly. We took him to a behavioral psych. years ago when he was first diagnosed and it was worthless - she gave us all the tips you'd give for typically developing kids and none of them worked.
My question for all of you is, have any of you found a psychologist/therapist/shrink or something similar for behavioral issues that was actually useful? DH is putting his foot down on even looking into it because of our previous experience but I'm desperate. I can't take much more of this. We don't go out in public and now I'm getting reluctant to even take him to family events because he just ruins it for everybody. And if he's this bad now, what will happen when those teen hormones kick in? I don't want to see him end up in legal trouble.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!