My daughter is about to turn 4 and is still not potty-trained. I waited until she was 3 and every few months tried to train her. I have used candy rewards, sticker charts, little prizes. She picked out her own underwear and her own potty seat. She knows when she is about to pee or poop and will announce it out loud. She also knows how to hold it. Last year she didn't pee until she came home from preschool. She'd enter the house and pee within minutes. She's a very neat, clean girl and loves to take do things herself. She has two big brothers. But nothing seems to matter to her! She is a very, very stubborn girl and strong-willed in general. I am trying so hard to not make this a power struggle, but it is becoming increasingly more frustrating. This year she will be the oldest in her preschool class, and probably one of the few kids who still doesn't use the toilet.

Finally I decided to go cold turkey. Four weeks ago I put her in underwear during the day and a pullup at night. She still has YET to even sit on the potty!! She pees and poops in her underwear. She doesn't enjoy the feeling, and cries when it's happening, but when given the choice to use the potty, she always says no. She doesn't appear to be scared about anything. We've been flushing her poop down the toilet since she was 2.

I am at a loss. I don't want to backtrack on the underwear. But am I destined to clean up two or three accidents day for months on end? Why is she taking so long?