I was raped several years ago. I still live in the same city as I did then but I have managed to move around often enough to feel safe that my rapist would never locate me.
Recently my husband reconnected with an old friend from high school (on Facebook) who he has had nothing to do with for 26 years but who also happens to be best friends with my rapist. My husband knew about this connection and still moved forward.
When I found out about this I told him I wasn't comfortable with any of it. He proceeded to accuse me of not supporting a friendship that was "important" to him. I told him I didn't understand how a person whom he has had nothing to do with for 26 years could be more important than the fact this person is friends with the man who raped his wife (of 22 years). I told him I was far from being comfortable with the fact information that he relayed to his friend (ie: about our child, where we live, etc) could equally be relayed to my rapist when the two of them were hanging out. He blew it off and basically told me I was over-reacting and seeking attention.
I have found myself confused because I don't feel that I am being unreasonable nor unfair. I don't feel that after 22 years of marriage to him that I should come in second place to this friend who has been no part of our lives whatsoever. I don't feel it is fair to re-establish this friendship when my daughter could be at risk should my rapist desire any sort of vengeance against me. I'm simply dumbfounded that my spouse comprehends none of my fear and is playing it off as female histrionics (sp) ... I don't know what to think, period.
Any feedback would be most appreciated by me since I'm seeking to make sense of it all and naturally assume an unbiased opinion will help me fathom my own. So thank you in advance for your time in responding to my post.