Hi. I am now 8 months pregnant with my fiance's child. We have been together now for about 2 years. We both come from previous marriages and have two children from those marriages. When we first got together (as with many relationships), he was an absolutely amazing man. He was very attentive to mine and my childrens needs, was incredibly loving, our communication was great and we all felt like a true family. A little over a year later, he began getting cut hours at work and finacially we began to struggle. Then things just continued to fall apart and we grew distant. Eventually we separated for a few weeks.
During the time we were separated, I was devestated (to the point of depression... Barely making it to work, wanting nothing to do with anyone...). He on the otherhand, was going out drinking and even dating other people. What else he did, still haunts me (meaning, I constantly question, did he sleep around??)
We began going to a counselor and things started to look up. We werent living together and at times, we would go back to his place and he would tell me how much he loved me and that as before, he still wanted us and wanted for one day for me to become pregnant. Well, I did become pregnant and when I did, he blew me off... Then said that he told me what he did because he didnt think it would happen (we had been trying before w/ no success)... And even said that I would end up being a single mom of 3. The first few months of my pregnancy was horrible emotionally and physically for me. He then began to slowly come around and we seemingly worked things out. I then ended up with placenta previa, a major blood clot and a small placenta abruption and was immediately hospitalized for several weeks (8). I was eventually allowed to return home but on complete bed rest. During this time, I felt really scared, depressed and insecure but keeping a completely happy face for my two daughters (thank God also that my mother lives nearby). I dont know what came over me but I looked at his cell phone. Apparently while I was in the hospital, someone had texted him, how have you been... He replied, who is this... She replied, amanda... He replied, i was hoping it was you... call me, I cant text.
So needless to say, I asked him about it. He got very upset of course and then proceeded to tell me that she was a girl that he dated while we were apart and he doesnt know why he said what he did to her but with all the stress going on, he wanted to talk to someone positively and who liked and wanted him.
I'm still in shock over this and of course the red flags have been going off like crazy BUT, I'm still here in this relationship... Hoping and praying that things will return to how they once were.
He again swept me off my feet and my two daughters and I moved in to a home with him. They have loved him just as much as I have (which may be why I fall for him so easily) but lately, he has become very short tempered with me and with them. I have to constantly put him back in his place when he starts up on my daughters. When he starts up on me, I just take it. He always apoplogizes later which these past few days i have learned, mean nothing because he is just going to do it again.
He also spends most of his time on his cell phone with the guys now and / or hunting as opposed to any time with us as before. I hear him on the phone now saying that yes, he's up for hunting this weekend after he had just promised me that he wasnt because he wanted family time. Basically, I feel like he's just telling me what he thinks I want to hear. I just dont know if Im over reacting or if Im legitimately feeling the way that I am about him and this relationship which isnt positive at all.
I do know that I am terrified now about the fact that I feel it in my heart that I already am and definitely will be a single mother of 3. I feel like a failure on so many levels (my relationships, now my job being that I have to be out...). My self esteem is gone. I am incredibly insecure and lonely. I just dont know what to do anymore. My children deserve more and better than all of this.
Any advice you have, would be so appreciated. Thank you for hearing me out.
During the time we were separated, I was devestated (to the point of depression... Barely making it to work, wanting nothing to do with anyone...). He on the otherhand, was going out drinking and even dating other people. What else he did, still haunts me (meaning, I constantly question, did he sleep around??)
We began going to a counselor and things started to look up. We werent living together and at times, we would go back to his place and he would tell me how much he loved me and that as before, he still wanted us and wanted for one day for me to become pregnant. Well, I did become pregnant and when I did, he blew me off... Then said that he told me what he did because he didnt think it would happen (we had been trying before w/ no success)... And even said that I would end up being a single mom of 3. The first few months of my pregnancy was horrible emotionally and physically for me. He then began to slowly come around and we seemingly worked things out. I then ended up with placenta previa, a major blood clot and a small placenta abruption and was immediately hospitalized for several weeks (8). I was eventually allowed to return home but on complete bed rest. During this time, I felt really scared, depressed and insecure but keeping a completely happy face for my two daughters (thank God also that my mother lives nearby). I dont know what came over me but I looked at his cell phone. Apparently while I was in the hospital, someone had texted him, how have you been... He replied, who is this... She replied, amanda... He replied, i was hoping it was you... call me, I cant text.
So needless to say, I asked him about it. He got very upset of course and then proceeded to tell me that she was a girl that he dated while we were apart and he doesnt know why he said what he did to her but with all the stress going on, he wanted to talk to someone positively and who liked and wanted him.
I'm still in shock over this and of course the red flags have been going off like crazy BUT, I'm still here in this relationship... Hoping and praying that things will return to how they once were.
He again swept me off my feet and my two daughters and I moved in to a home with him. They have loved him just as much as I have (which may be why I fall for him so easily) but lately, he has become very short tempered with me and with them. I have to constantly put him back in his place when he starts up on my daughters. When he starts up on me, I just take it. He always apoplogizes later which these past few days i have learned, mean nothing because he is just going to do it again.
He also spends most of his time on his cell phone with the guys now and / or hunting as opposed to any time with us as before. I hear him on the phone now saying that yes, he's up for hunting this weekend after he had just promised me that he wasnt because he wanted family time. Basically, I feel like he's just telling me what he thinks I want to hear. I just dont know if Im over reacting or if Im legitimately feeling the way that I am about him and this relationship which isnt positive at all.
I do know that I am terrified now about the fact that I feel it in my heart that I already am and definitely will be a single mother of 3. I feel like a failure on so many levels (my relationships, now my job being that I have to be out...). My self esteem is gone. I am incredibly insecure and lonely. I just dont know what to do anymore. My children deserve more and better than all of this.
Any advice you have, would be so appreciated. Thank you for hearing me out.