I discovered last week that my husband has been receiving so-called erotic massages and oral sex from prostitutes over the past year. He was approached at school by the first woman, and then discovered the others online. When confronted with the evidence, he immediately came clean about the whole thing...

I keep asking him about details. He's been very honest in his answers, and yet as much as I have a compulsion to know, it makes me sick. I cry and cry. I feel fat and ugly and completely undesirable. At the same time, though, I have a sexual desire again for my husband that has been gone since the birth of our first child 2 1/2 years ago.

My reaction to this whole thing is very physical. When I think about it I can't breathe, get chest pain and nauseated, and end up in the bathroom...

We had problems before in the marriage. We had grown very distant. I was angry and controlling, and he was passive. It was like two people living parallel lives, but it still doesn't excuse what he did. But it still feels like I'm at least partially responsible. At times the hurt is absolutely overwhelming. We have begun marriage counseling, and he has an appointment with a therapist as well. I love him, I don't want the marriage to end.

But I'm so scared. Am I normal? Please help.