I've been hanging out, lurking lately... I'm not completely sure where to start. I mean, I guess in some ways things are going really well... I'm now down a total of 52 pounds in just over a year, having lost 8 pounds in the past 3.5 weeks.
But physically and mentally, I've hit a wall.
I had been struggling this summer... yo-yoing around 215/220 pounds. I just couldn't get past that number. It was awful, but I kept going.
Then, four weeks ago, I fell apart physically. My knee and ankle, which had been doing well previously, started flaring up, and 20 minutes into a swim workout, I threw up... It wasn't even that hard of a workout, but my body just fell apart. After that, I was told to take a week and a half off of working out. So, I did. And in that 10 days, I lost six pounds. After that, I was allowed to start working out again, but I had to dramatically reduce the intensity and volume of my workouts.
Before, I was swimming hard-core three days a week... Now I'm only allowed moderate swimming twice a week and light swimming once a week. I was running three days a week... Now I'm not allowed any running. I was lifting for an hour three days a week. Now I'm only allowed 30 minutes 2-3 days a week.
Working out is what keeps me going. I love it. I enjoy it. It's fun for me. It's social for me. It's my stress relief, and it is what keeps me going. It organizes my life. I enjoy it so much.
I had some medical tests done, and it turns out that my adrenal glands are totally wrecked. My DHEA is way lower than it should be and I'm over-producing cortisol in the morning and then within hours, it plummets and I have almost none the rest of the day. Cortisol regulates many functions in the body--including glucose regulation and metabolism. DHEA is a precursor to many hormones and regulates immune function. Apparently, my body has been under so much stress from my surgeries and illnesses that it literally can't handle it any more. My adrenal glands give everything they've got first thing in the morning (when cortisol is supposed to be highest) and then the rest of the day, they are just completely done.
So, I'm exhausted all the time, my appetite is totally off, and now I'm not allowed to workout like I would normally, so even though I'm losing weight, I'm just feeling like I'm completely hitting a wall and falling apart.
At least, though, this does explain why I've had to work so hard to lose these 52 pounds. This condition works against me 100% in my quest to lose weight. So the fact that I've done this much despite the injuries and illnesses and the adrenal issues says a lot... But, still. It's discouraging.
I just feel a little bit down and out and just discouraged... I don't know where to find my zeal again...