So, for those of you who remember- I was trying for a homebirth but Nj state laws made it a PITA so I decided I would go to PA - 2 1/2 hours away, and give birth out there in the birthing facility that my MW set up. well, I just hatr the drive. hate it. And I know its prob worth it to get the birth I want *but* she isnt flexible at all about how often I have prenatals and such and driving out there jsut SUCKS. So... i'm considering scrapping it all together. NJ is a *bad* state for VBAC's. We have the highest CS rate in the country, the highest maternal death rate in the country and one of the lowest successful VBAC rates. My last baby was a VBAC, though, so I know if the hospital isnt a PITA and gives me the chance I CAN vbac. But I am really nervous about making this switch.
On top of all of this... DH's 22yr old brother got thrown off his motorcycle on Thursday night and his head was run over by a car. He has had to have 2 brain surgeries over the weekend, is in a coma, and we still dont know if he is going to live. Things are VERY stressful and heartbreaking right now. In the midst of my BIL possibly dieing... or living but being in a vegetative state or having severe dissabilities... nothing else jsut seems to matter that much anymore. Before this week me having my homebirth seemed worth any obstatical and now... it just isnt. It's inconvenient for me, my kids, my DH and the people I need to babysit for me to go to PA to birth. It's more expensive for DH and myself. and I may be able to do the same thing right here in NJ... just in the stupid, sterile, over protocalled hospital who doesnt let moms birth naturally long enough to have successful VBACs. (lol- really... I love hospitals.. haha)
anyways, over all... I could use some P&PTs for me and my family (esp BIL!) that we make it thru this hard time and that DH and I make the right decisions for us and our fam while dealing with everything else. thx