Hi...I am new to this board and could really use some advice. First, a little background....I have been divorced for 7 years and am now engaged to a wonderful man. We have known each other for years, but only started dating about a year ago. I have two children, DD16 and DS11. My fiance has two boys, ages 9 and 8. My children are with us all of the time with the exception of EOW when they see their dad. Without getting into details..we only see my fiances 9 year old a few times each year...but his 8 year old is with us all of the time. (They do have separate moms). His DS8 has high functioning Autism.
DS8 is in mainstream school, has an IEP...he is diagnosed with Autism, Aspergers, and PDD. The neurologists told my fiance ''good luck, every day will be a different adventure''. For the most part, it is difficult to tell that DS8 has Autism unless you know what to look for (I am learning the signs). He is, according to neurologist, ''querky''. Most people on the outside looking in would only think that he is an odd child...weird.
Now the part where I need help...my son has a difficult time understanding that DS8 requires more patience than most other children. He doesn't treat him badly...he just gets very frustrated with DS8. He doesn't understand why DS8 acts the way he does sometimes. Now the kicker...we have an appt with the Doctor on Wednesday...a follow up to determine whether or not we need to take my son in to determine if he has Aspergers...or something else. He has many signs of Autism...once I knew what to look for, or things I had noticed for years finally being linked to something.
Does anyone have step-children, or other children, who have a difficult time understanding and being patient with your Autisic child??? And how is the best way to help them understand?? Nothing horribly major has happened as of yet..and I want to avoid it if I can. I've talked with my son several times...my fiance and I have sat down together with my son and explained why DS8 has certain behaviors. I realize some of the issue is the normal ''blending of family'' issues, but some of them aren't. My ex has always made my son the center of attention, and always buys him things...my daughter is closer to my fiance than with her dad because her dad doesn't give her much attention. There have been several times over the years where I wondered if there was something...not 'wrong' with my son, but that there had to be an explanation for some of his behaviors. Anger is huge with him...a very one sided view of fair...when he gets stressed he blinks, a lot....a many other things.
I'm sorry for the long post...I'm just getting to my wits end here. I am totally new to the Autism world...and at times have a hard time with patience myself. It took my a while to be able stop and think before I speak. Any advice or help will be greatly appreciated !!