So I am in a bit of a situation where I am having some doubts, I think I know the answer but need a sounding board. A year ago I reconnected with a past friends with benefits lover. At the time I was looking to boost my ego from coming out of another failed relationship. We live in seperate states but hooked up 2 or 3 times as we did in the past. I didnt feel as though our dynamic was much diiferent than it had been in the past and accepted it for what it was. Then I started to feel a little used. For sex. And realized that I had always wanted something more with him. I expressed my feelings for him and told him that I had loved him for a long time and wanted more. He did not recrocrate the same feelings and said he had used me in the past for sex but really liked me now and wanted to see where it would go. I continued to fly out to see him a couple more times and even though he was super sweet to me our time together was spent mostly having sex. The last trip i took to see him once again i felt bad after leaving, empty inside as though i had betrayed myself again. So i decided to take some time away from a relationship and work on my own issues. I felt and still feel if it is meant to be it will be there when i am ready. Since making that decision i told him that i was dedicating the next year of my life to myself. He has since turned the corner and now wants me to move to colorado and build a life with him. He says he is ready for a relationship now and is tired of being alone. My initial feeling is he wants a relationship period. Whether with me or someone else. He told me that if i decided to keep my comitment to myself he would understand but he would have to move onto to find someone else rather than give me the remaining 6 months i have asked for. I feel as though if i am truly his first round draft pick he claims me to be then why cant he wait six more months? Why is he pressuring me to make such a vital decision to pick up and move to be with him. He has never come to visit me, I have allways gone to him. I am just now working at a good job in which i am able to support myself and i am scared to give that up?. I have told him he should see other people. I want him to be happy. I also want a relationship with him. Am i being to selfish in asking him to wait? Do i sacrafice my promise to myself to be with him now? what would you do?