I need help. First, being a step parent is a unique situation. I have one stepson. I've been with his dad since he was 5. He's always been a troubled kid, but my husband was mostly a Disney Dad and mom chose to ignore the situation completely because parenting was NOT her priority. For many years it was a battle between DH and I because I wanted him to take a more active role and change the path that stepson was on. Alas, that path has not changed and he is exactly where I expected him to be at age 18 - jobless, a high school dropout, disrespectful, not contributing to a household or society in any capacity, and living in MY home. Mom does not want him anymore since he doesn't come with a monthly child support check.
DH is absolutely willing to put him out on the street. I am not, simply because it's too cold to survive out there right now and ultimately I don't think he is 100% responsible for his actions due to poor parently up to this point. But I also, for my own sanity, cannot stand to live with him. He's mean, lazy, etc.
What does one do in this situation? We've tried laying down ground rules in order to remain in the house, which he totally ignores. I've tried helping him get a job, but he simply doesn't want one and won't cooperate. At this point I feel like my options are to a) make peace with the fact that I can't change the situation and I should just suck it up and support him, or b) kick him out and make peace with that.