There's a saying that the behavior we object most to in others is extant within ourselves. This has the corollary that what we admire in others is also within ourselves.
Last night, Mr Smith called. I explained calmly and sweetly that I felt neglected by his lack of communication and erratic contact. I talked about what I need in a relationship and he seemed to be listening to me. I've invited him to go ahead and stay with me on the nights of the 7th and 8th, and told him he may well end up in the guest room, which he seemed OK with.
This morning, I was working for a few hours on a project that I love, so I was feeling exuberant. He had hosted a charity fundraiser at one of his homes last night so I decided to call and see how it went. I asked how the event went. I asked how his speech went during it.