Hello! My name is Stephanie and my daughter's therapist just recommended that we start using the NHA in our home. Our "difficult" child is 11 and she has been giving us a run for our money since she was 3. We also have a 6 year old who is so sweet and easygoing, but we can tell that she's beginning to learn some of her sister's "tricks" and we're hoping to nip that in the bud.
We're just getting started and haven't even recieved the book yet, we're just going by the info the therapist gave us, but I wanted to jump in here because I know I'll have lots of questions. So far we've been doing the "Kodak Moments" and we've implemented some very basic rules/consequences. Kyra's moods and behaviors have wide swings from good to bad, but she has been in a very good phase for a few weeks and we wanted to capitalize on that and get the rules and consequences going before she swings back to the bad. Or maybe she'll just never swing back there, wouldn't that be wonderful?
I do have one quick question now that I'm thinking about it. With the rules and consequences, is it okay to have multi-step consequences? For example, our rule is "Do what you are told, when you are told, without arguing". This is a huge one for us, Kyra is ridiculously stubborn. The consequence is that they have to write the 4th commandment (the honor thy mother and father one) a number of times. Okay, great, but if Kyra really digs in her heels and is being stubborn about something that is non-negotiable (like going to school), that consequence might not be enough to get her to do what she needs to do. So I was thinking of having "steps", so if she refuses to do something she gets the first consequence, if she continues to refuse she gets a tougher consequence, and so on. I don't want to start out with a really tough consequence, because it seems like overkill to have them lose the computer for a week if they just drag their heels when it's time to brush their teeth. Anyway, any thoughts on this?
Thanks for all of the work you're doing here. It is very appreciated!