I had my daughter 6 weeks ago and I had what I assumed was just the "baby blues" and thought it would go away soon. It actually did for a few weeks... then it came back and is just getting worse everyday. I feel like a terrible mom, I just want to get away from her most of the time. When she starts getting fussy its almost like I'm genuinely mad at her, which I know is irrational, she can't help it. I just want my old life back. I have trouble falling asleep even though I'm always exhauted, I'm just completely miserable and don't know what to do anymore. I can't make her happy and I feel like she's picking up on all of this somehow. I know I need to talk to my dr. at my next appt. which is in just a few days, but I'm embarrassed to. When I mention it to my husband I worry that he's just going to think I'm complaining too much, even though I know he's incredibly supportive. He just can't help with this and I really don't want him thinking that I'm a bad mom. I'm trying to feel better or at least be able to put on a show of feeling better but its just getting harder and harder to pretend. I'll be holding her and she'll start crying and I just give up on trying to make her stop, I'll find myself just staring off while she's screaming in my arms.
I know this is all jumbled but that's just how its coming out. I do plan on talking to my dr. I just really don't want to be put on medicine, but as it stands I feel like this is literally killing me. How long can this really last before I'm completely insane?