She is an in law in my family. She once got mad with me saying she doesn´t feel acknowledged and important in my family.
She wasn’t able to come for Xmas because she is pregnant and wasn´t feeling well, and when I called her and told her “It`s a shame you are not coming, we had also bought some presents for you”. She got defensive as if I were scolding or complaining and said “Well it is for a good reason” (the pregnancy). I was just trying to be nice and to show we will miss them. I couldn´t say a word because I was trying to make a compliment and got out of base. As if you ask what day is today? And you get as reply “My mom isn´t feeling well”.
Once I was at a museum and she was next to me. I was watching a guy´s portrait I said “The guy´s skin is kind of dark” But she instantly replied “What´s wrong if his skin is dark?” I also didn´t say a word. His skin was dark because he was an Arab I never said it was wrong; I was just thinking out loud and trying to figure out who he was.
She, her husband, baby and I were in the car. Her husband wanted to make a fast visit to a friend’s new office. The weather was very hot and I suggested to her husband “Probably you have to go alone”. He quitted visiting and hours later, she told me “It was very hard to make that visit because it is not possible to be left in the car with such a hot weather and with the baby and……….. As I know her now; I said. “Well, my suggestion was made if your husband were by himself, I never meant to leave you in the car, pregnant and with the baby” She forgot I was also there.
I wouldn´t be aware of those small details, if she hadn´t told me angrily what she previously did. I´m very aware now of her reactions to what I say and do.
Do I have to explain all I say to show I never meant any bad? Is this a hopeless case? I have never been aware of such a bad misinterpretation to all I say. L