Well Today I was thinking and this is just for me that I am too hard on myself.. I feel like a failure because I dont have too many things going for me right now. But that isnt true its just in my messed uped (sp) head.. I have a degree, I have friends, family, places to go, people to see and I have alot going for me..
All of my life I have always been over the top with getting ahead.. I have always been driven to find the man, the job, the friends, look good , the perfect place to live.. I have always been hard on myself in all ways and most of the time I have had all of these things because I strived to go after all of them.. Even in my 2nd. Bad marriage I refused to give up and stayed around for over ten years because I couldnt fail. I just couldnt..So I got out for other reasons but not for lack of trying and trying so hard..
That is probably why I suffer with things and even wanting someone. I feel like I am not acceptable if I dont have someone because its a sign of failure and its frowned upon in society