I received a letter in the mail yesterday, 6/7. The date on the letter is handwritten, 6/4. (mind you, I never received a phone from the dr's office.), the letter starts out as follows:
The result of your most recent pap smear indicated changes in the cells that will require further identification. The pap smear is primarily a screening for cerivial cancer, however, changes caused by infection, inflammation, and viral processes may also be detected.
Then goes on to say 'in order to identify what the cause of the changes are'
This is my first abnormal pap. I drove to work in tears...two hours early....because I knew my manager would be there, and I didn't want to be alone.
So - to give a little history...I'm 42, my mom started peri menopause at 42, one of her sisters started at 35. Back in Oct '11; I had quite a painful purple lump on my chin. It spread. After 2 months of being in pain and this blister like painful rash on my chin being an eyesore for other people, my pcp told me it was impetigo. I was on antibiotics for the month of Jan. Our state ins. kicked in in March I was able to see a dermatologist, who right away said it was severe cystic acne, and it was hormonal. She suggested it might be me gearing up to go through the change. She put me on a different type of antibiotic, and its not really working! This acne is all over my chin, my nose, spots under my left eye, and above my left eye on my forehead. I've been on this antibiotic since March. So over 3 months now.
I was reading an article from cancer.gov about how the hpv that causes genital warts, (the warts that go away and do not come back), does not cause cancer. Other types of hpv do. And how hormonal changes can affect the cells in the lining of the vagina and cervix. I'm hanging on to hope that I'm getting ready to start, if not all ready, to go through the change. Or the fact that I've been on antibiotics for so long. Thinking of quitting them cold turkey as of today.
My biggest fear is being realized. I was so afraid of getting breast cancer, or colon cancer. All I want to do is cry. I'm trying to tell myself that the gyn was wrong, that maybe I am starting the change...she did do bloodwork to test my hormone levels and my thyroid.
I'm so scared. I have to stop and I don't know how...I have high blood pressure, and the bottom number is up to 93! I know its the stress and the worry - its all a vicious (sp) circle and I don't know how to get a grip!