I'm almost 35 & have 2 boys ages 7 & 11, I left their Dad (my ex husband), 37, @ the end of 2009. Things between my ex & I weren't good for about 2 years prior (he wanted to still live the party lifestyle (drinking/drugs, still acted as if was 25 & couldn't keep a job) however, I didn't discuss relationship problems with my immediate family.
While in the process of leaving I met a great guy, but my ex told my family I left him for someone else, eventhough that wasn't the case. I have been with my BF for almost 3 years, we recently bought a home together but my immediate family wants nothing to do with him & in turn they don't talk to me! My family invites my ex & his Dad (whom they never liked when we were together) to birthdays, family functions, etc! My family goes to visit my ex when the boys are with him, yet they have never once seen the place my boyfriend & I bought so that the boys can have their own rooms (we have a 3 bedroom, 3 level townhouse & my ex lives in a 2 bedroom apartment). They all talk behind my back & make up stories about me in 'their world'. As the saying goes, if you tell a lie to yourself enough times it becomes the truth.
My aunt (mom's sister) told me that my mom said my ex told my family that I was on hard drugs & that my BF supplies them to me! And my mom's comment to my aunt, "that makes sense on why she's acting so strange." I have never, ever done drugs! My family has never initiated a conversation with me about what happened between my ex & I. When I did talk to my mom she tried to bring up points about me that weren't true & that I never said. For example, I had the Separation Agreement drawn up & my Mom was telling people that I wouldn't sign the document! How does that even make sense!
Hmm, what else is there? Oh! My mom has my ex's 24 year old girlfriend as a Facebook friend!
My ex & I have shared custody (the boys are 1 week with me then one week with him). If Thanksgiving, Easter or friends birthday parties or other events (concerts, etc) happen to be on my ex's week I ask him if the boys can come with me for a few hours. MY Dad tells him not to let the boys go with me since it's his week!
My ex emails my Dad on advice of how to handle a situation! My Dad has told my ex to make sure my BF doesn't replace him as a Dad. Yet my ex doesn't work, so I'm not sure where his money is coming from to feed the boys. When with him, the boys don't do homework, they only shower/bathe once a week & they don't brush their teeth! My oldest son's teacher has even brought up his hygeine to me! My BF has taught the boys to swim & has taught the youngest how to ride a bike. The boys don't even have bikes @ their Dad's.
I work full time, go to University fulltime, my BF works fulltime & also has his own landscaping business. And we provide a great life for the boys. Yet my family supports the unemployed, unmotivated ex!