Hello Everyone, I'll try to condense this as much as possible. 53 years old. Married for 28 years. Sex life, meh. Through therapy I realized i was super angry at him about selfish behavior. He was passive-agressive and I was a martyr. Ugh! for both of us. In 2008, as I was finishing my treatment for breast cancer ( feeling like crap, looking even worse and emotionally a wreck) I discovered my dh searching the internet for nude pictures of a (younger) woman who worked for him. Now, after the intitial bomb was dropped and we really discussed it, things seemed to improve. We had a very honest discussion about our sex life, and he assured me that nothing happened between the two of them. He lost his job 2 years later which meant they had no reason to be in contact with one another. Since then, despite his promises to me that he would have NO CONTACT (text, email, phone, etc,,) I discover every few months that he has talked to her in some way or another. He lies about it constantly and when I uncover his lies and threaten to leave he's sooooooo contrite. I just want to take a rusty knife to that empty brain between his legs and take care of things! I don't know if I'm being incredibly stupid. I don't think of myself as gullible, but I'm beginning to wonder. I don't know what to do. Right now, I can't stand to be around him. He told me in February (when I once again found him talking to her) that we would go to marriage counseling. Of course, that went nowhere. This time, I actually found the names of 3 male therapists we could go to,but I REFUSE to call and make the appointments. I'm tempted to put a GPS on his car, but we share a computer so I'm not sure how that will work. I've also considered hiring someone to follow him, but don't want to spend the $$$. At this point, I don't think he's worth it. Saying all this, it's obvious I still love him because I don't need his money and I wouldn't be this jealous if I didn't. But I don't want to be humiliated and hurt any longer. Any suggestions? I'll listen to all of them. Thanks for letting me rant. It felt good.