I want to see what you guys think of this situation...  Dh goes to Aikido two evenings/week and one half day (cause the whole process takes 3 hours) on the weekends.  He's usually good about picking the weekend day that's the most open and helping with the parent taxi service.  When he goes during the week he goes straight from work because it's on his way home and the time is perfect (6:30 - 7:30) and is home around 8:30.  I have told him I think 8:30 is too late if he really wants to spend time with the family (and BTW when do I get to be away until 8:30 any night much less two/week every week).  He says he doesn't think it's too much to ask that he gets to work out 3 times/week.  I see his point but his workout adds almost 2.5 hours to the time he's away from us.  He has offered to let me pick time to go do something for myself.  If he goes two nights/week + a weekend and I go two nights/week+a weekend, when do we get to be a family?

Work has been incredibly stressful for him lately.  His boss-call him J (who is going to get the axe soon but doesn't know it-dh does) has been yelling at him, screwing up relationships with clients, treating the other employees like children, and generally abusing dh and taking advantage of him.  Dh has been told he is taking over when J gets fired but of course he can't say anything.  Dh has to do his regular job plus work on transition plans and future plans on the sly which is going to mean late nights at home and weekend meetings for a while. J's boss, B, is a friend of dh's.  B is afraid he's going to be in trouble too because J is screwing up on his watch.  Dh is trying to assure B that he's sticking up for him with the guys from the buying company.  B told dh that the guys from the buying company were very impressed and counting on him to turn things around.  And added "Don't screw this up".  He meant it in a good way but it just added to dh's stress level.

So now we get to the real question.  Yesterday the dog had a double accident in the house, Evan pulled an extended stunt (covering 3 hours during which he claimed his phone service was spotty and ended up at someone's house when he was supposed to be at the beach) when I was supposed to pick him up from the beach, and then dh texted me saying work was running late and he wanted to go to late Aikido class which meant he wouldn't be home until 10ish.  His view is that he's going to Aikido to relieve stress so he doesn't take it out on us when he gets home.  I feel like I'm being taken for granted and yanked around and his schedule is imposed on me and have felt this way for quite a while. I've told him before and he just doesn't get it.  He thinks I don't get his point.  I do but think mine trumps his...

Thank you if you've read this far. I thought that background was necessary to give proper perspective to the situation.  What would your reaction to his attending the later class be?  I only see more of that in the future (at least until things settle down at work).