OK, so I am about out of hormones for the photographer, if indeed I ever had one.  Two dates and I forget to respond to his text messages for hours; he doesn't call, doesn't actively engage me mentally and doesn't make efforts to ask me out.  But he does make frequent contact, giving me a blow by blow of his day.  I don't like him well enough to care.  I'm going to stop responding.

The Dutchman and I have had several long texts in the last week and I am just too weary to care anymore.

The beloved, gorgeous SA told me today that I am a "truly wonderful" woman. He was responding to something I did  that got some media this morning but a lot of people said that today, so it wasn't such a big deal, he was just parroting them.  Still, it felt amazing to have someone I really like say something sweet.  But he's been back since the 22nd and has not taken any steps to come see me or invite me to see him.  So however wonderful I am, I guess it isn't wonderful enough.  Makes me sad.

And then, there's my "special friend" - one whom I hadn't seen in 2 months. We went out for coffee yesterday and it was like the Fourth of July!  I've never felt more chemistry with him than yesterday - I was longing to get my hands on him. So he's coming tomorrow afternoon and I will get what I want and that will suffice for a while.  I told him that when he finally moves out of the hellish situation he's in, he can move in with me.  He said he would.  I think they are at the end, from the way he's talking now.  Five years of waiting for him will pay off - but here's the weird part.  The idea of him showing up on my doorstep with his suitcase and his internal baggage completed terrifies me in real life.  Imagine! In one fell swoop, I could have a live-in boyfriend.  True, he's the most compatible man I know, and one of my best friends, but he's not very good in bed and he's 59 and he's sort of leftover hippie style although he has a great consulting business.  I can't imagine how dramatically my life will change when that happens.  And I'm pretty sure it will happen!  I've offered him refuge before, knowing full well he'd not take me up on it, but I can see he's snapped and it has changed.  He told me last week they sat down and talked about separating their assets.  It's been 9 years since they made love, because that's how long ago she confessed to multiple affairs.  

I guess be careful what you wish for in life.