Some quick advice is requested and would be appreciated! I recently found out via Facebook that a family relative came into town last month, and met up with my sister and BIL for dinner. This relative had never been to our area before, and it was someone I had not seen in about eight years.
I found out when perusing Facebook about this. The relative had posted prior to the visit on my sister's FB page. Although I have FB, I only log in about 3-4 times a year, and although my sister knows this, she never contacted me about attending the dinner. And she did this despite knowing several weeks in advance that the relative would be coming into town.
A few days after I heard about this, I purposely let it slip to our mother that I had seen the post on her FB page. Although my mom "promised" not to say anything to my sister, I'm sure she did...which is what I intended anyway. The post has since been removed from her FB page, and she is not in the habit of removing anything from her FB. Of course, I have the screenshot of the post/replies saved already.
I'm sure some of the advice I receive will be to ask my sister why I (and my wife) were not invited to the dinner. The problem is that people rarely tell the truth when you ask them hard questions. My sister and I "get along" to the extent that we see each other at birthdays and Xmas, but that's the extent of our relationship. We get along when we see each other, but don't really stay in touch too often otherwise.
However, that is not an excuse on her part. If a relative were coming into town and contacted me, I would certainly have let my sister know, and not assume she saw the posting on FB. (I'm sick of people inviting folks to things on FB, by the way...not everyone is addicted to FB!)
Another problem with asking my sister is that she has the tendency to tell lies, especially when confronted. She could say she didn't think I was interested (which is not for her to decide), or that she assumed I saw the post on FB (which she knows I almost never use). The other possibilities are that she didn't think about letting me know (which is pretty hurtful) or she didn't want to invite us at all, which I sense is the real reason.
In any case, barring a direct confrontation which I know will lead to me being called "too sensitive", what else is a good course of action? I have considered ending our participation in family dinners altogether...why be around someone if they're only pretending to like you anyway?