Hello. My name is Kristen and am 41. I have had four losses. Three were early and the other loss was at four months pregnant. She had Turners Syndrome and cystic hygroma with severe edema. Her heart gave out on her and we lost her in sept 2010. We have been continuously trying with injectables and just did two months with IUI. I started last night so this cycle did not work. I am devastated and seems like no one really understands this pain. I feel like I am dying inside and losing hope that I will ever be a mother. I am not ready to hear...you can use donor eggs or you can adopt. I want my own baby....is that too much to want? It is so hard to put on that face of "everything is ok" when I am so upset. Sorry for my venting. I just want to communicate with people who know exactly how this anger, frustration, sadness, hopelessness feels.