I originally came to iVillage after a long hiatus to post on the singles board about how to maybe start dating again (or just get some insight into middle-aged men). It just seemed too sad over there for middle-aged women so I just read posts all over trying to decipher what I am feeling and what I needed to find here.
Background: I started posting on iVillage in 2007 when I met and fell madly in love with a man that I still believe is a soulmate to me. Well, I discovered that even IF someone is your soulmate, you can't always live with them. About 3 years into that relationship, after a lot of ups and downs and soul searching, I let him go because I KNEW that I could never live with him even though I still loved him. I had to tell him that I didn't love him anymore to get him to leave me alone though and go on with his life which broke my heart, but I still think it was best for both of us.
In the process of reading a lot of posts on several boards here, I have come to the conclusion that the reason I can't move on and be with someone else is because I am still in love with the man I sent away. I say I want to date, but I don't put any real time or effort into it. I really don't mind being alone, but companionship would be nice and I really do think I would be ready for that if I can get the soulmate guy out of my head and heart. I mean its been three years and I still love the guy? I really do want to move on.
Anyone have any advice or perspective on this situation? How do you stop mourning the end of a relationship if you still love the person and move on?
Thanks in advance.