I was reading some replies (sogladitsover, yoga) in the thread Its Not Getting Better about “walking away with dignity and pride”.
XAP tracked me down four days ago, after two months of NC and me ignoring his fishing attempts. Asked why I was not responding to his attempts, told me he loved me, thinks of me all the time, blah, blah, blah.
I believe he will eventually track me down again sometime. I’ve told him several times that we are not going to work. I am nice; not encouraging, but not mean either.
And I have always figured that it was implied that I wanted to be left alone as evidenced by my lack of responding to any of his attempts. I have always gone on the premise that Silence is eloquent, dignified and is heard. WHY CAN’T HE HEAR IT??
I know that XAP has lied to me, is using me for his ego stroking, wants me on the side and intends to keep living his life with his W and their life style, etc.
I would really like to call him on his BS; call him on the lies (of omission) that he has told me numerous times, tell him I do not want to be someone’s cake on the side, I don’t want to be his friend, etc. and firmly tell him to leave me alone.
Is it time to do that? Maybe it is what is needed to finally keep him away…and to empower me.