I'm having a really bad day.  My only close girl friend told me last night that she has been seeing a psychatrist and they have tentatively diagnosed her with paranoid schizophrenia.  I knew that she was struggling lately, but I didn't know that things were this bad.  I also don't really agree with the tentative diagnosis, but what do I know since I'm not a doctor.

I feel really guilty because my first reaction was fear because I heard that paranoid schizophrenics can be violent.  She has never shown any indication of violence, though, and she said that it's a common misconception that all paranoid schizophrenics are violent.  Some of them are, but not all.  But now I'm worried if she does actually get diagnosed with it and she tells people, they will be afraid of her.

I also feel guilty because I thought, "If she gets a diagnosis for something this serious, what is wrong with me?"  She seems like she has it all together.  She works full time, takes care of her daughter, is a good wife to her husband, etc.  I am not even close to having anything together in my life, so it makes me wonder if something is really wrong with me, too.

Anyway...I'm just feeling awful and wanted to share with you guys what is going on.