Ok first let me star by saying Im not looking for judgement here. Iam looking for advice and hope. So last week I get my usual hey honey on my way home cant wait to see you text frm my husband 2 secnds later i get a quiet obscene text about being hme in bed hard and missing you. Well clearly this was not meant for me. I text him back so he knew he was caught then ran out with friends to drink ( not my best idea but i needed to run away) Well any way the next day i confront the issue head on he tells me he has been texting and chatting with multiple women and that his need fr instant gratification led him t giving his phone number out to many woman ( he apparently gt tired of waiting for them to go into the chat rooms ) Now i actually go int the cell phone bill and text several of the numbers and just one text me back turn out he was chatting with this one fr 3 months gave her all false information and she was just 16 althugh she did admit to telling him she was 19. Now with this information in hand is where my heart broke i got to my husband and ask how many woman He tells me hundreds he has these fake identities he pretends to be what they want him to be and say he only talked t woman who were 18 or and that he shared pictures back and fourth and the shared those pictures with other men online (The thought makes me ill) He prccedes to tell me how sorry he is he tells me this is a problem of his that he has an addiction to texting and enjoys playing these fantasy games. When i ask him whats wrong with our relationship that he has to do this ? He begins a full on confeesion of always having an addiction in his life he informs me before this it was drugs and alcohol and video games this just was a addiction that came from online gaming. He tells me that there is nothing abut ur relatinship he would change things are damn near perfect and that all means nothing to him and that he will never d it again He chanhed his phone number right away and closed down all the social media sites he was on. He swears he loves me and that he would never physically cheat n me.
Now a week later im broken im sad i cry all the time (not around him ) I dont know what to do. I feel like i have lost my best friend. I want to believe him but I dont . i feel like im married to someone i dont know. he has never sent me pictures like that or sent be and explicit text messages He is always so respectful toward me a gentleman actually. We are always together., always have been since the day we met. Do i try to get past all of this try to understand his addictive personality? Do i snoop in his email get an sms catcher? I feel like doing something like that would be wrong.
Im sorry this is so jumbled and my thought are unclear i just need outsider pints of view I cant talk to my friends or famiy he has good relationships with them and i dont want to ruin that for him.