I posted a couple times before. I'm 3 months "out"and trying to work things out with hubby. He has been trying real hard to earn my love and trust back but some days I wonder if it's worth it. (married 19 years, 2 kids). So the OW (who is also married) works only about 5 minutes away from me. I talked to her on the phone once and she assured me that she will not call, text, email my husband again. I threatened to print out all the calls from my phone bill and show her husband and she begged me not to. I told her thats exactly what I will do if she attempts contact wtih him again. Anyway, the other day I was driving by her work and noticed the time and knew she would be walking out fhe door any minute. I was curious of how she looked so I parked and waited. I knew her the moment I saw her since there are only about 6 employees and only three are women. Now I'm no super model but I think I'm holding up okay for my age but she is only 25 and not only is she heavier than I am but not really that attractive! I must say I was a little upset about that. I can "almost" understand my husband being attracted to some hot little tamale (as I pictured her) but she really was nothing much to look at. Not ugly but certainly no head turner. So I mentioned it to hubby. I said I was surprised that he ""risked our marriage" for a plain Jane like that. He just told me it was more of a "friendship" thing....blah, blah, blah. <sigh>
So, as of right now we are together and trying to be "normal" again but of course the trust is completely gone. I'm not crying everyday like I used to but the occasional tear will fall when I think about how much he hurt me. I feel like a stronger person after going through this and some days I think maybe, just maybe, I can get past this. I guess time will tell. He knows if anything like this happens again, I will NOT forgive him. It's funny because I was doing laundry last night and accidentally washed his wallet. I thought he would be annoyed with me (I've done that before, lol) but instead he hugged me. I didn't understand why and he said that showed him that he was earning my trust back since I didn't check his pockets. I was a fanatic about checking phones, pockets, etc. for a while but I guess the urge to do so has stopped. I did, however, remind him that I reserve the right to check pockets, cell phones, trucks at any time and he said he is fine with that. So....life goes on. Thanks for being a place for me to vent.