It's been only a week, and overall I have done well, but now that I've totally blocked him the reality hit me this morning like a depression sledgehammer (some of you may recall, I have bipolar disorder. Well, this is a major trigger. I'm spiralling down now). My therapy of choice is acupuncture, so I am going after work, but it's the moments up until then that I am struggling to get through. I miss xAP so much. I can barely eat, sleep, or focus on work. My heart aches. I know he's not what is good for me, but life feels so colorless and sad now that he's not in it.