I am nearly 7 months pregnant. I'm due in early November. When baby arrives, it should be MY big day, right?
Well, my mom and I had a little dispute earlier. Somehow the subject had come up to where she had planned on my sister to come to the hospital when the baby arrives. The problem? This is where it gets complicated.
My sister is a little bit older than me, but she is mentally impaired. She is a very nervous and jerky person. She is obviously uncomfortable in public. She is not the most hygienic person and she likes to put her hands on everything in site. She will intensely stare at you (not in a mean way, just in general). She also has threatening tendencies, but I don't want to get into too much detail about that. The point is, this is someone who makes me nervous and I prefer to not have her around, ESPECIALLY in a setting like a hospital and my baby. My mom thinks I am just "being mean" and "picking on her." That is not the case. My mom lets her do as she pleases and does not want to control her.
When I had my last baby, my mom had brought my sister over to the hospital unannounced. She left for a little while and came back with her. I was not happy about this at all. She waited until my boyfriend had left to do this, but maybe that was just coincidental. The worst part was, she had let my sister hold the baby! I was so upset and stunned I didn't know what to say or do. Although nothing happened, it was just the point. Then after a while she was there, she just helped herself to whatever food was lying around and my mom does nothing about this. And the staring thing, that is just something that bothers me in general. I do not like it.
Earlier this month, my baby had his first birthday. I heard nothing at all about my sister attending the party. The night before the party, mom comes over and says that my sister is going! I am getting real tired of her doing this. So she ended up coming. I didn't know what to really tell my mom except to keep an eye out on her and make sure that she does not touch the food. I would get it for her. She said okay. What happened? My sister got a hold of something and my mom did nothing about it!
So now you know where I will be running into a problem when this baby comes. Earlier my mom tore me apart saying that I shouldn't be like that toward my sister and that she doesn't get to do too much and she had pretty much told me in so little words that she is coming whether I like it or not. I didn't know this was all planned out, as it sounds like, but I should've assumed so.
My mom is not someone you can talk to about my sister. You can hardly talk to her about anything without her blowing up at you. She is a negative person and thinks the world is out to get her. It is getting worse with age. I know my mom will not believe anything I say about my problems with her, it will just be that I am picking on her and I hate her, etc. Now I am at a point to where I can no longer take this. I am thinking about not saying a word when this baby comes. I just don't know what else to do. Is this the best way to go about this..?
My family thinks that I am "mean" to my sister as well, based on whatever my mom has said. I have some problems too that she will never understand. I am truly nervous when my sister's around and very uncomfortable and my mom knows this. That part is visibly obvious. I know she's not very clean and when I see her touch everything it just makes me crazy. Again, the staring issue really bothers me too. I don't think that I am a mean person or being mean. My boyfriend and his family do not think I am being in the wrong here. They believe that my mom should respect my wishes not to have my sister present at the hospital. They also do not think that my mom should be automatically including my sister into every big event.
So I don't know what to do here. I really wish my mom could be at the hospital, but I know she will not be the only one there. I can't talk to her about this because all hell will break loose. It seems my only choice it to keep everything a secret and go along with having the baby without her knowledge.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I am sorry it was long!